MILAN MEETUP {part 1}: Pocket Full Of Meatballs

REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD. Mallory and Jackie have finally made it out of the Zoom chat and onto the same recording couch in Milano! From aggressive vintage shopping, meatball smuggling, adopted Nona's, questionable fashion choices, and celebrity sightings - we've taken Italy by storm. There are so many crazy stories to tell that we couldn't fit them all into one episode, so check back for part two of our Milan recap.

With overfilled bellies and empty bank accounts, we bid you a "that's amore" until next time!

Ciao Ciao xx

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:03

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's a more rare Bongiorno Bongiorno from Milano. We made it. Made it out of the group chat. That is just me and Jackie, as the kids say. The kids say your favorite nonas of here. We are eating. Literally and figure it out of it. We are eating. We're eating a lot. Yeah. We're eating all of it. Jackie is eating all the meatballs. Every meatball. Never met one she didn't like. Nope. Can't get enough of them. Can't get enough. Yes. We don't have meatballs in Poland. I've had them in my pockets, in my purse. Yep. My pockets, really, because you borrowed my jacket. Yep. So that was tough. Remember? Yep. Wherever I could baby. Don't eat meat, but got meatball in my pockets. We did it, Joe. We made it to Milan. We finally got here. We've been talking about this for months. This is so weird to record. It is. Looking at you. Staring deep into your eyes. That's what you do when you t when you talk to people. You look at them.

SPEAKER_04 1:14

I hate it.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

What what do you want to look at? I don't know. I want to look at you in a little box at my screen. Well, that's not possible. Can we go in the other room? Oh my god, I forgot that we're not going to be able to do that. I'm not doing that. I swear to God, Jackie. We're really having a good trip. We haven't been together too long, that's for sure. Maybe we might be reaching the women. And then we might be reaching the woman. We're getting a little bickery, folks. A little bickery. We have been a uh a lesbian couple for this. We've been a strong family unit. We've been a strong family unit. Yeah, we have. Yeah. We have. We've, yeah. Well, let's just dive in. So, first day we got here, we have our tour of the Duomo, the big Duomo Milan. Beautiful. We had a rooftop tour, which was just amazing. That is the way to get to go to the roof. Just go to the roof. You want to see the rest of it. The part was we didn't know.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

So we get to the square, and and of course we are nervous it's gonna rain the whole time. Right. But we really left out. Yeah, we did. I didn't say not so much, but that day we left out. We get to the square, it is huge. There's a thousand thousands of people. We're like, where the fuck do we get in this dress? We're trying to read the tickets. Yeah. We ask a nice lady who's working outside, and she's like, Oh, you go down and to the left or right or whatever. We're like, okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

So we're walking, walking, and then another duomo worker guy is like, oh no, you go this way and to the right. And we were like, no, we don't believe you. No, we're gonna listen. We believe women. Yeah. Was the guy right? Yeah. Technically, I mean it's a circle. You could have gotten there anyway. Wouldn't you have gotten us there faster if we listened to it? Maybe. Maybe. I also liked how they were like, Did you pick the stairs or the elevator? I'm like, look at us. We're American. Okay, we don't take stairs. We want the original elevator. We want the elevator. We're not climbing to the top of this thing. But little did we know, we did have to climb to the bottom, and that hurt. Yeah. And it was tough. Sorry to the cripples. But they're gonna get you up. They're gonna get you up. Not gonna get you down. Getting up. Getting that coming back, that's for sure. Basically, you walk around the top of it and it's amazing. And then you get to this last roof, and then it's just a queue to get back down about an hour. About an hour. Yeah. So gotcha there. Yeah, gotcha. We're gonna make your fat asses walk, whether you like it or not. Whether you like it or not. Yep. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

I mean, you have amazing views, and there was like some sort of concert series going on. Some like Justin Bieber tunes. Yeah. But would a pop-up bar have been nice up there? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

I mean, give me a little aperitivo. Yeah. While I'm waiting. A little apple spoon. You can see right into the rooftop bar. So it's like, if I could just, you know, just all snare. And toss me and put it in a bottle, throw it over. Yeah. Yeah. Not any water, nothing. Nothing. The sun, we were the sun was beaten. Sun was beaten. Sun was beat. In that moment, we said, no, the little rain, little rape, it might be nice. Yeah. Yeah. Or if we didn't miss appropriately. So we did our duty and saw something cultural. We didn't. And then we immediately switched gears into shopping. To our culture. So to our culture, to our church. To our church. We went to an amazing vintage. Our first vintage store we went to was fantastic. It was called Eleven and had a the sweetest worker, Mora. Mora, who just knows everything about all the pieces. There was a jewelry case that had a 80-year-old woman's collections. Cornelia. Cornelia is her name. Arnona. Arnona. Nona Cornelia. And one side was like Art Deco 20s, the other side was 50s, but the most amazing pieces you have ever seen. Just in like a glass case. In a glass case. And we just pull them out for us. She made us a coffee. Tell us little stories about the pieces. Right. It was so it was amazing. We're the only people in there. We uh both bought jewelry from Cornelia's collection. Art and Arms. Arnair teams. Yeah. There was one piece I just was thinking about and I was like, you know what? It's a little pricey. I'm gonna come back, you know, in a few days if I'm still thinking about it. So spoiler alert. I am back. Spoiler alert. Mallory woke up in the morning and was like, I need to get it. It's a brooch. It's a tiger brooch. It is we're supposed to pick it is fire. Yeah. And we met store and Mora was like, Mora was like, I was waiting for you. And yeah, she uh oh so sweet. The best customer service and the last good not pushy, really the only good customer service, I would say. We started high, started at the top, and now we're here. And immediately, yes. We went to yeah, we went to another amazing vintage store. The store was fantastic. The workers were horrific, so pushy. Every bag you put on, they say, That's your bag, that's your bag. I'm like, Well, they can't all be my bag. Oh, this is your bag, this is your bag. Yeah, so we go we go to the store called Brandon Vintage, and another group of ladies are standing nearby looking at some bags, and they're on the table. And so I go to reach for a beautiful bag, and oh, look at this. And the woman who was shopping there says, Oh, excuse me, that's my bag. You poor. So, yeah, she looked at me like I was literal scum. Like, don't touch my bag, you poor motherfucker. Oz off. Yeah, real good. Yeah, it was a little bit embarrassing. Yeah. And then so I asked the sales associate. Well, no, that was the next day. I know, but we can't we can't lump it together. We came back, so spoiler alert again. I thought about a bag there and then came back the next day. We did a lot of sleeping on things. We slept on it, and then we got it, and I got it two for one, so it really worked out in my favor. But yeah, yeah, we went back the next day and Jackie's like, here's my price range. I want something that's like Prada, like an Italian design design.

SPEAKER_02 7:07

And I hit her with a low ball price range because I don't really need a bag, but I was like, you know, if you got something in this price range that happens to be amazing, I'll think about it. And so she's like, okay. And I saw some things upstairs that were sort of in that price range. So I'm like, price range exists.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

It exists, it exists within the store, right? And so she comes, she went to the back, she's like, I got something for you in the back. She went to the back and came back with a Prada garbage bag. It was dirty, it was broken. She's like, Well, it is vintage. I'm like, I guess in the way that all old things are vintage, anything is vintage. If you black believe a bag covered in it was it basically like someone had vomited in it. Like it was it was so offensive. She was like, You can have this. She was like, This shit is in your price range. Poor poor son of a bitch. She was like, I think it's your bag. I was like, uh, I think you can take this and shove it up your ass. Yeah. Well, I need to say I did not get uh uh Jackie did not. However, I would like to say I have never had a designer back, so it's I sort of needed it. And it was the prices were you know totally reasonable. Preposes by saying this is a very first world episode. I know, yeah, yeah. This isn't your bag. We understand. We're totally out of touch. We are in Milan. What did you want? You know, you know what? This is escapism. Okay, all right. Things are expensive, yeah. The world is crumbling, and we are just live in this Milan bubble. We are tomorrow, we'll move by home. Exactly. And we'll be making noodles with butter for the next six months to pay for those bags. Yep. Also, on every square is covered with pigeons. Jackie loves birds and even the flying rats, which are disgusting. We knew this from the last episode. She's chasing the birds around, calling to them, coo, yeah, like that. That doing that little noise. Absolutely foul. We saw people holding their one man was holding a baby and having the baby touch the pigeon, the flying rat. Living my dream. He had them landing on his arms. Just so disgusting. So disgusting. The satisfaction of like the holding one. I almost caught one and put it in my face. So disgusting. It's absolutely foul. I still have 24 hours, still 24 hours to make my dreams happen. Yes. So we continued our day of whirlwind vintage stores. Some were better than others. We did find one that had some amazing, like just fun pieces, but they also had a few brands that really cracked us up. One being broccolini. There were broccolini bags. There was Gaudi, literally spelled G-A-U-D-Y, just putting it all out there. You know. And then one jacket brand was Matt Delun, spelled almost like Matt Dillon, but Deloon with two O's instead of an A. And oh, there are lots of things that said Valentino, but it turned out it was Joe Valentino. It was Joe. Joe or Steve. Yeah. We're not sure. Right, right. Mitch. Mitch cousin. Yeah. Mitch Valentino. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Mike Valentino. Mike Valentino.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

That that's what was cool. It was like if anyone was back in the day in New York, there was like a Century 21 big department store of like discount designer things. Yes. But it was, I mean, there were dresses and things that were so outrageous.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

Like it was cool. It was cool. Never went. Never buy. It was fun. It was fun. You got some sandals there. I did get some sandals. If you kind of really want a broccolini bag. I know, but they're not cheap. They were not cheap. I mean, it'd be if you give 20 euro on a broccolini bag, fine. But these were over a hundred. Yeah, no. Like not for a joke bag. No, not for broccolini. I would love to have a broccolini bag that I just use exclusively to carry around broccolini.

unknown 10:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

Just steam up some fresh broccolini and carry it around. That's all we could think of. So that's like all yeah, it's tough blind. Braccolini waller. Maybe that's what we've slept on. Yeah. The call's coming from inside the house, you know, for broccolini. No. Yeah. So then the next day, what did we do? More shopping. That's when it was raining. We need so day one, we're feeling good. Good. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

Our GI tracks are intact. Yeah. We our feet are full functioning. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

We are full of energy. We got like 15,000 steps. Well, we got the best sleep on the day. Wednesday. Yeah, our first night here, we both just slept like the dead. Like the dead woke up like this is what it feels like to actually get rested. So we went fucking hard. Hard one. Hard in the paint. We walked like 400,000 steps. Yeah. We went to every store. All the stores. We were we were excited. We were going on by day two. Day two. We were hurting. You know, we were we woke up, we were feeling rough, things were sore, but god damn it if we didn't get right back at it.

SPEAKER_02 11:57

I know. And we said we were like, oh, I don't think we could do it.

SPEAKER_01 12:00

And then as we started to move outside, we were like, you know what? I think we can I think we can do this. We can buy some more stuff. A little slower pace. We were slower, not money-wise. No, not money. Not money-wise. Okay. That was my most expensive day, maybe in my life. I don't know. But we did get culture that day. We did. We got culture. So we started with some vintage shops. Very cute. What is this one? Oh, the cloister. Yeah. Oh my gosh. They are cool, again. Really cool. And the the the people there were actually very nice. They were no mora, but they were very nice. No what? Nobody push it. Nobody was pushy there. They weren't like you should buy this new house.

SPEAKER_02 12:37

And bless them, they were all youths. All youths. They were trying to sell me some like six-inch Prada heel.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

They were gorgeous.

SPEAKER_02 12:45

Mew Gucci. I don't know. Meow meow. Meow meow. Some cool brand. Yeah. And I put them on and just was teetering. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:56

No, it they didn't. I'm not wearing these. No. Not in my life. Oh, those platforms brown. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my god, the perfect idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? Yeah. Well, and then we both tried on a two different pairs of Gucci's that were gorgeous. Oh no, the Chanel's Chanels, sorry, Chanels that were beautiful, but they were too big for both of us. And she basically said, like, well, if you walk enough, your feet will swell. I'm like, okay. It's always too exciting. You can make it work if you really wanted to. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what was cool. Yeah, that was really cool. Really cool. Then we happened a pond. We were trying to go to one place we saw online, and it was for lunch, and it was nobody was anywhere near it, and there was a line forming at this place across the street. Going to was like a fancy Mediterranean, like very, very aesthetically cute. This place was just like your average no frills, Italian, but a line, but a line, a line waiting for it to open. So we said, Jackie, sorry, Jackie said, we're going to this place with the line. Yeah. And we looked it up later, and it's like the number one restaurant in Milan. It was. It was a moment of silence. We're gonna have a moment of silence. It was the best meal we've ever had a meal. Best meal ever. As we're sitting there, now the staff were a bunch of 17 older men who had no time for abolition. No time for any revulsion. Not a minute for it. No, there was nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Just woody woody fuck them off. What do you want? So we're sitting there and it's and the the menu's in Italian. So we yeah, Jackie has to pull up her little like translate so we can read the menu. We're reading reviews as we sit down and Matthew's reading. Where are we? Let me let me pull it up. What is it? What was that? Yeah, there's no catering to tourists at this. There's no American menu. No. It was just this keep getting what you get. What was the restaurant called? Was it called Tractory Melonnaise? Or Okay, so this is the review that I read before we eat. Yeah, as we're sitting there about to order. Yeah, I'm not gonna read the whole thing because it's actually quite long. Dining at Tratoria Melanaise was nothing short of a revelation. Every single dish was mind-blowingly delicious. The kind of food that makes you pause mid-bite, look at your companions, and smile because you know you're experiencing something truly special. The flavors were deep, honest, and perfectly balanced. Classic Milanaise cuisine executed with soul confidence and absolute mastery. I mean, wow, what a review. Poetry. So we said, Alright, all right. This has gotta be it's this better be an honest meal. So then we were like, honest flavors. Oh hilarious. What a what a hoot. What a hoot. Oh, we're gonna get a hoot entree. Yeah, and boy did it. Within five minutes, Jackie was crying. Jackie was in tears. Not from the food, but just overwhelmed with emotion. And then, you know, by the end of the meal, we'd gotten deep into my childhood wounds. Yes, real deepest. And the deepest we've ever gotten. Yeah. And he was flowing. I I'm there was true serum in that meal. That review did not lie. It did not lie. Honest food I've ever had. It was so honest. It was honest in the coat. It was definitely it was the honest company. Right? It was the honest company. Like it was, whoa. Yeah, we were shells of it off by the time. Yeah. So we each got a pasta dish. I got the best Nokia of my fucking life. It was so good. You what pasta did you get? It was like these handmade like dancing and spinach and just like a sage, butter.

SPEAKER_02 16:39

I mean, just melt in your mouth. Yes. Heaven, we got like Capreze, freshest. The freshest tomato.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

Yes. I mean, just heaven. Heaven on earth. So now we didn't order more food. Totally. And but before we ate our first bite, Jackie's like, oh, there's no salt and pepper. I'm gonna ask. I was like, I will leave you here if you ask. This is not the kind of place. I was like, why don't you just ask him for fucking A1? Like, ketchup! Yeah. I was like, please just take a bite first. And she's like, okay, you're right, it doesn't need anything. It didn't need anything. It didn't need anything. We're perfectly seasoned to think that we need salt and pepper and crushed red pepper flakes and all the things. Yeah. And yes. You don't need it if the food is prepared to perfect appropriately. Yeah. They will season it for you. Yep. That is the sign of a good meal. I was like, where's all the condiments? Yeah. So Jackie also got herself a trio of meatballs. Oh, my second round of meatballs. Yeah, second round of meatballs. And couldn't finish them. Took them to go. Oddly enough, our next stop was to see the last supper painting. And Jackie said, These meatballs are coming with me.

SPEAKER_02 17:49

Well, there was a sign. So first we try to get in, and the lady's like, oh no, your time's not for like 30 minutes. So you guys have to wait. We're like, okay, so we had to check in this other area, and there's all these signs where like you can't bring in not even a water bottle. Water, food, anything. And I'm like, Mallory's like, oh, you're gonna have to like throw out the meatballs. I was like, I forgot what the fuck I am.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

Fuck I am. And I was like, I'll just put them in my pocket. And she was and I was borrowing Mallory's coat. Yeah, she put them in my pocket of my raincoat. Who is that? So she was like, You sure about that?

SPEAKER_02 18:20

Yes. Like, yep, yep, sure am. So I put them in the pocket. And then they're like, Oh, you're gonna have to go through like a metal detector and stuff. And it's wrapped in the bag. And they're gonna look in your bag. You're gonna look in the first they said we're gonna look in your bag. So I said, okay, I'm gonna put it in my pocket. Yeah, that's not in the bag.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Yeah. Thinking.

SPEAKER_02 18:35

Then we get we finally get up there, and the lady's like, Oh, because you're in this special group, we're not gonna look in your bags. You can just go through the metal detector. So I'm like, all right, I'm gonna hedge my bets. I'm putting them back in the bag. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

And don't you know I got those meatballs through. Got those meatballs through. Somehow the Last Supper survived Jackie's meatballs. They literally you have to go through two doors because they filter the air because it's like this painting's so precious. And Jackie's like, I got my meatball air in here. I'm not giving up my meatballs. Not giving up the meatballs. Who knows what the stench of meatballs, the long-term damage that it has done to this painting. But meatballs not been that Jackie said I don't care to that painting. You know what's more important than this painting? These two meatballs. I'm not giving up the meatballs. And then she ate them when we got home, and that was about six, seven hours later. Cold with my hand. Yep. Sure did.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

And Mallory was horrified. The thing is, in meatball has not been that close to the last supper painting since like the 1500s when the monastery kitchen was open. And I'm glad I was able to bring it back, bring it back to its roots.

SPEAKER_01 19:37

Yeah. So best meal of our lives. Yes. Shopped till we dropped. Went back, got the brooch, got not one but two bags from the designer vintage. No, I said enough. I've looked because the first one. I did, I looked, just keep looking. I know it was the first bag I saw, and so I didn't want to just like, you know, go too hard on the first bag. But then we'd seen some others, and I really just couldn't stop thinking about it. And by the time we went back, they had gotten a new one. And they said, look, if you buy the first one, get 10% off on the second one. The second one was already pretty cheap. That the second one was in my price range. It was, it was in your poor people price range. And they gave me a discount on it. Where I was shamed by the attendant with the case. You were shamed. Yeah, this is actually in my price range and it's beautiful. 100%. She's hated me. Yeah, she did. She did. It was pay less bogo. Buy one, get one. It was. It was amazing. And Mallory. And I I Bogoed. You Bogoed. And I had no I was so happy. Two days ago I had no designer bags. Today I have two. I feel good about that. Healing the world. Healing the world. This is how we heal. This is how we heal everybody. Yes. So I get the bag. You deserve some healing because you really the honest lunch. The honest lunch. You really need to put your soul out on that date. I did. I put it all out there. I bared it. I bared it. I said you need to heal. I need to heal. There is there's only one way to heal that I know of, and it's shopping. And it's shopping. Yeah. So then they they tell me you only get the discount if you leave a review, a Google review, and I need to watch you do it right now. So they get me on their Wi-Fi. Yeah. And I leave in a review. Right, exactly. And again, this place, brand on vintage. Amazing bags to serve, but just know you're gonna get hustled the shit out of when you get there. Shopping experience. Bad shopping experience. But I'm not gonna update my review to say that till I'm back in the, you know, on the American soil. You're out of the country. Yeah. Take your bad back. Right, exactly. I'm afraid they're gonna come and steal it in the dead of it. I could see they have like a tracker on it or something, they break in and take it back, resell it.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

That night we went out, we were like, you know, there's no bad food in it.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

There's no bad food in Italy. This one. This is a Friday night, and you know, we didn't have reservations, we're tired. Like, let's just find a joint. So we went and this place, I had been there Wednesday before Jackie got in for an aperativo, and it was cute. It was on a little square. I'm like cute. It's it was a great place for a drink. I did not eat that night, and that's where the mystery. Steaks began. So we're sitting, we didn't have res and whatever. And so we should have known that like an empty restaurant on a Friday night. Yes, even at the uh looking it up to see, I like to see pictures of the food and what people order. And the reviews are they're grim. They were not positive. They were not positive. I was like, oh boy. Yeah. So we get the safest thing, the ravioli. Both of us. And we got a we got a capraise there too. I love a caprese. Yeah, that one, that one, yeah. It wasn't good. It wasn't good. Then we get our we get our raviolis, and it can only be described as what? Well, the chef that was on that night that was cooking was Chef Boyerdi. Yeah, Chef the Chef Boyer D was in residence. And that is what we ate. And that is what we ate. Which, you know what, it really Jackie hated it more than I did, because I I loved Chef Boyardi Ravioli growing up. It really took me back. But yeah, so it was funny because we had the best meal of our life in the same day as the worst meal in Italy. Not the worst meal of my life. No, for sure. The worst meal in Italy. Yeah, for sure. For sure. No, no doubt about that. Again, balance. But then we hear some trumpets. We hear a little what is this thing called? The accordion. What is it?

unknown 23:21

What is this thing called?

SPEAKER_01 23:22

How did I know what this was? Because we were there together. No. We heard the gentle sounds of the accordion and the trumpet. Males, like bringing a dragging a claw across their breasts at the accordion. Yes, I got it. We hear laughter. We hear laughter. We hear singing. We see people standing outside, and right next to where we are is a wine bar with a little band playing. We squeeze in, we claw our way up to the bar. The age range of this crap. I'm gonna go 55 plus. We were by far the youngest people there, which is my favorite. Yeah. That's what I like. We're good. That's so what I like. So what I like. We come in and what were they singing? Johnny Be Good. Yeah, they're singing Elvis. Yeah, they were singing Cake, which was yet another. Gloria Gaynor. They were singing the cake version of I Will Survive. And I was like, oh, who is it? Who is it that they're covering? And she's Gloria Gaynor. She just said Gloria Gaynor. I kept trying to give context clues. I'm like, it's the band from the 90s. They sing the distance. It's the Gloria Gainer. She just, Gloria Gaynor, Gloria Gaynor, Gloria Gaynor. I'm like, alright, no, that's that's not what I'm saying here. So she's like, but who covered this? It's like it's Gloria Gaynor. Yeah. She was like, you don't fucking know it's the cake. You know it's the cake cover because they go, I forget, walked in to find you with that fucking look on your face. That's how you know your gainer's on. But anyways, we squeeze our way up to the bar. We get the best sparkling prosecco rose prosecco that we have had. Oh, it was so good. We may need to go back there and get a bottle of that. Oh, yeah, that was really good. We should definitely do that. What are we dressed in, Mallory? What was our attire for this? What was our attire? Our striped menswear. Oh, right. We've we we were matching. We were mashing menswear.

SPEAKER_04 25:17

We were matching menswear.

SPEAKER_01 25:18

And not beating the rumors that we were. Full transparency. I I I leave my wedding ring everywhere. I have left it in multiple Hampton Inns and have to have it mailed to me. I have left it in Airbnb's. Like, I can't keep that thing together. So I was like, I'm gonna be smart this time and not bring it to Italy. Not because I'm trolling for dicks. Not because I want people to think I'm with Jackie, which one has. But because I will, in fact, lose it. So I don't have a wedding ring on, and there's two women in front of us who keep turning around, making eyes. They like what they're looking and they like. And they're drinking and they're dancing and they're looking. They're peeping Mallory's hand. Yeah, they're like, okay. They're peeping our straight bows. I was wearing a low bun because of the rain. It did not help anything. We were doing anything to fight any rumors. No weren't helping ourselves. This was our lessius day. This was our lessiest day. Our lessiest day for sure. We're not PC here. It was our les day. It was our les time. But I like it because you know, nobody really messed with us. No men did. No. No men did. Yeah. No one. No. Which is great. Our husbands would be thrilled. Yeah. Husbands would throw it more 80s. Who were definitely. Yeah. Yeah. They liked what they were looking at. They liked what they were looking at. And it felt nice. You know, being being admired by a woman's a whole different ballgame. You know, I like it. They're a little more discerning. They're not looking at you like they want to eat you, you know. They want to, I think they want to eat you. They might I can't help it, you know. Then you wanted something. No one needs something. But you know what I mean. They weren't, it wasn't they're not looking at you like I might like you know, rape and murder you at some point. You know, like very gently. Yeah. They'd be gentle. I would imagine they'd be like gentle lovers. Yeah, no, they're gonna talk first and then we're gonna get right to it. And then it's gonna be it's gonna be very loving. You know, tender, very tender, very tender. Yeah, yeah. But we didn't, we didn't kill it out of there when we're getting a little too close. We yeah, we were like, we're gonna go home and just uh hook up with each other. We're gonna go home and sleep together now. And then we I'm jumping ahead, but this ties into this.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

Yes, we were up to dinner because a woman with like a young daughter, she was maybe a year, and she's like running towards us or whatever, and the guy's like, oh, sorry, you know, and Valerie's like, it's okay, we have daughters.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

I said we have two daughters, as if not we each have a daughter, we have two daughters, like fully yeah, and the woman was like, Oh She's like, Oh, so you get it, what being co-parents is like, yeah, yeah, it wasn't doing anything for the the rumors, rumors, the rumors spreading around Milan about the Americanos, but who didn't think we were lesbians was friends, was our waiter. We had another amazing dinner last night. Oh my gosh. So good. We walk in, all the waiters are in their 70s, and they are just cracking the jokes. Cracking the jokes. They're on. We sat down, he the our first waiter goes, Where are you from? Reno Nevada? And I was like, no. He thinks a minute, and he goes, Reno Nevada. Yeah. And she was like, Why don't you? I was like, Reno Nevada. He's saying, and she was like, Oh, no. I said, No, Washington, D.C. And he goes, Oh, with the president. And me and Jackie both go, no, no, no, no, no, no. Everybody laughs. Visceral reaction. Yeah, we had a real strong reaction. Big laugh. Then the next guy walks up. He stands, he holds his chin like this, he looks at us, he looks at Jackie. Dolly Preston. We go, what? Excuse me. And he's just pointing at her, going, Dolly Preston. And I was like, oh, Dolly Parton, okay. That night I had the hair was curly. The hair was bumbling. It was a funy. You looked amazing. I was very excited. And she was like, oh, okay. And then he just kept coming back and saying Dolly Preston, Dolly Preston. He kept saying it to the other waiters. Yeah, he said it to the restaurant. And you know we were eating dinner at seven o'clock. So the restaurant was empty. Because we are in Middle End where they don't eat dinner until at the earliest, like 8:30.

SPEAKER_02 29:29

It's amazing. So like the restaurant filled up at 7 and it was all tourists. With all the American English accents. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

Like you could tell these waiters loved the tourist crowd. It was like, where are you from? Yeah. Crack and joke. Crack and joke. It was like a regular comedy tour. Loved it. Loved it. The bartenders dancing. Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean. But amazing food. Amazing food. So then our friend Luigi comes back over and now again, fingers on the chin.

SPEAKER_02 30:00

And like Madeline Stowe. Yeah. We're like, whoop? Yeah. Madeline. Madeline Stowe. So he takes out his phone. He's looking at pictures. He's showing me. He will not show me his phone. He's holding his phone next to her face so I can see the comparison and Google Madeline Stowe. I mean, spot on. Then, but he will not show me. He never would show me. Jackie finally just had to pull it up on her phone. Mel's like, can I see? Can I see? No, no, no, no. And then I see him scrolling and he's getting to some X-rated pictures of Battle and Stowe.

SPEAKER_01 30:28

And he, I think, got lost in those for a minute. He got lost in his thoughts. He got allowed to take those. And then he put those in my pocket. Then he just walked away. And then he walked away.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

Now the Mallory was like, what does she look like? I know. Is this offensive or not? I need to know. We're sweating. Yeah, I'm like, what is this?

SPEAKER_01 30:44

Yeah. Yeah. So uh Dolly Preston and Madeline. Dolly Preston. And then the whole night. And every time I walk by, Dolly Preston, Madeline Stone. Yeah. Amazing. Yeah. So then at the end we were like, we need a picture. We made a picture with him. So we're like, can we can we take a photo? And he's like, sure, sure, sure. So we walked this area with better lighting.

SPEAKER_02 31:02

Yes. Totally. And then I for a second I thought he maybe thought, I want him to take a picture of us.

SPEAKER_01 31:08

Yeah. I was like, no, no, no, with you. And he was like, yeah, I know. He's like, yeah, I know, but I'm getting in the middle. Yeah. Like I need to be in the middle of you two. Yeah. Yeah. So he gets in the middle. Yeah. And you know, I don't want to say this. Capital feel. My husband's gonna kill me. He was 75. It was a light butt touch over the dress, okay? I want to be clear. Good for him. It wasn't under. It was over. Listen, it was a respectful. It was a respectful feel. We're in Italy. This is their culture, okay? He was looking at those sexy Madeline Stowe pictures in the back. He got a little he's taking that one. Yeah. So I said, oh, okay. Thank you, Luigi. Grat and I, we're gonna head on out. Appreciate it. Yeah, he thought he thought he was. He put Madeline Stowe with your ass brat. Oh my god. He had a good night. And good for him. See, this is the difference of going out with the old lesbian. It's true. No, I prefer. I'll take the lesbians. Well, lesbians every time and twice on Sundays. You're kidding me. Oh my God. I loved it. Yeah. It felt good. It felt right. So well, it wasn't yours. How would you know what it felt like? Clearly, he's a bigger Madeline Stowe fan than a Dolly Preston. Dolly Preston was. Because I didn't get one feel. You didn't get a feel. I was wondering if he was grabbing yours at the same time as mine. He likes Super Deaths. Okay. He likes what he likes.

SPEAKER_00 32:31

Yeah, he likes what he likes.

SPEAKER_02 32:32

Madeline Stowe.

SPEAKER_00 32:33

Okay, Kekers. We had so many crazy stories from Milan that we can't fit them all in one episode. So we talked and talked and talked to realize this is gonna be way too long. So we are gonna have a part two of uh Milan Meetup Catch Up with some more stories about Zagna Stock. You can listen in for controversial cab driver who said, who is an absolute gold on the streets of Milan, which we have alcohol that involves the trees. So more stories to come. Please follow us on the socials. Come tune in to a Kiki Catchup on Instagram. We're gonna be posting so many videos, so much content, photos of everything that we've talked about. We have so much money to share. So tune on in and um we'll see you guys next time. Alright, are we videochu? Bye-bye. It's a kicky catch up.