BREAKING NEWS: Summer House Rage Spiral

DAMNIT KYLE, WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU. We woke up pissed off today so decided to work through our feelings here on the pod.  The recent photos of Amanda and Kyle out giggling together have sent us into a rage spiral. Let us know in the comments if you have also reached the end of your patience with Summer House.  

All crash outs are welcome.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Oh, there's sirens behind me. It's perfect.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Oh, amazing. Perfect. Perfect. Breaking news. Breaking news, Jackie.

SPEAKER_01 0:17

Breaking news. Mallory and I are pissed.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

We're here to talk about it. We're pissed. We're pissed. We got a few things we're pissed about. One of the breaking news items is something we probably should have identified, you know, when watching the reunion, but we've identified it now. So it's breaking to us. Probably many of you already vlogged it. You know. We're talking about summer house for those who are talking summer house. Summerhouse breaking. Let's start with the school breaking. Actual breaking pictures of Kyle and Amanda, Kiki in it out.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

This is what's really. So Matt just called me a little while ago. She was having a snow white Disney princess moment out on a 4 a.m. walk for her mental health. And she was like, There's chipmunks.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

There were two foxes. It was. It was truly magical, but that didn't tamp down my anger. No. She just called me enraged. All the forest creatures couldn't save me. There was enough brass. To save you. Save your spirit. That's what that's what the betula does to us because you know what? We were worried about it. And so was the Jennifer Lawrence's betrayed leaker, which now I sort of have beef with Jennifer Lawrence for outing this person. Because what we're seeing now is some baby back bullshit is what we're seeing. Exactly what we predicted is great. We have we have Kyle and Amanda out on the town laughing, giggling. We're buddies again. We have previews of this like after reunion episode where they threw together, by the way. Yeah, that threw together because they threw together the the two were too high to participate in the first one. And then third, what I realized on my beautiful walk this morning is that they never covered two very important things from the season at the reunion. Yeah. They did not cover Amanda snuggling up to Wes and the girl he was making out with and then saying, watch my ass as I walk away. And they did not cover her saying that Ben wanted to fuck her. And to me, these all these all signs point to a planned redemption arc for Amanda. And I'm telling you, I will not have it. I'm not here for it. I'm not doing it in this economy. Absolutely not. Did we not see it? Literally broke Vanderpump rules. Vanderpump rules is no more because she tried to do with Tom Sandoval. And I'll be honest, Tom Sandoval is a hell of a lot more likable than Amanda Batullah. She said it. She said it, folks. He is women supporting women. He's got charisma. We all love Tom Tom Sandoval before Scandaval. We did. Yeah, we really did. He was funny, he was charismatic, he had personality, he wasn't sleeping in a bed all the time, just waking up to yell at his spouse. He was playing the trumpet.

SPEAKER_01 3:11

He was making music videos. He was a legend. He was out there doing the thing.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

It's penis flute. Justice for Tom Sandoval. Justice for Tom Sandoval. Who would have thunk we'd be here?

SPEAKER_01 3:27

We don't. I am I I am irate over these photos. So like Dumois dropped it yesterday. And it's so I'll read it here. It says spotted Kyle Cook, Amanda Batullah, Lindsay Hubbard, and several members of In the City crew at Garrett and NYC Thursday. Kyle and Amanda appeared completely comfortable together, were socializing with the group. Lindsay was seated separately with Yvonne and seemed to be having an intense combo. Interesting moment. I overheard Yvonne, Kyle, and Amanda talking. And Yvonne said, So what was it like to fuck Sally? And Kyle and Amanda both laughed. I couldn't hear Kyle's response, so I don't know the context, but seemed like they were all friendly. They were not filming. And Yvonne commented and was like, actually, I asked Kyle what it was like to finally get laid after four years. And Lindsay commented, LOL, I asked him the same question. And these pictures of them couldn't be laughing harder. Like more staged. Papa brain aneurysm, laughing so hard. Like so staged, so disgusting. He's got his arm around Amanda's back. She has a hideous outfit on. And I'm like, I need Wes beta blockers to be able to look at these. What were you doing, Kyle? We were all rooting for you. In the words of Tyra Banks, we were all rooting for you.

SPEAKER_00 4:36

We were all rooting for you. What are you doing with these people love to fumble a bag? They love it. It's their favorite thing and goal. Favorite thing to do is fumble a fucking bag. Oh before we finally crawled out of the hole of people hating your gut for the last few seasons, you have somehow become the hero despite screaming at your wife and staying out till 5 a.m. And amazing. An amazing feat. You accomplished something that nobody thought was possible. And you score fucking blowing it. It's because they all still see her as this sad little victim when she's not. They are infantilizing a 30-year-old woman. They are turning her into a little helpless baby who can't do anything on her own. And it is sickening. This is a grown woman. This is how we got here because her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Patula, have raised her this way.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

Well, this is why she is the way that she is, because she is not having to sit in the discomfort of the consequences of her own actions. Everyone is giving her an out, and I don't understand.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

Oh, it's West. West manipulated you. No, sweetie, you're 30 years old. I'm sorry. Absolutely not. No, I am not here for it. I hope that this is just Bravo's like soft attempt to see what a redemption arc would look like. And they better hear the outrage because hear the rules. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

And if this is like if their idea, because this happened with the In the City cast, is like, okay, we're gonna just move this in the city and move the West Amanda drama. Fine. I never need to watch that show again. I do not give it a leave it there.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

No, and and the only way I want to see Amanda on my TV again is if she's getting fucking eviscerated the way she did in part one. Absolutely. Absolutely. I don't want to see, oh yeah, he played you, you made a mistake. I don't want to see any of that.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

I don't want to see No interest a season of her and West, and then West screwing her over, and then her and Kyle getting back together. And no, I don't I don't want to see I don't care. And like, Kyle, how could you do this to Sierra? Like if I'm Sierra seeing these two fools out kicking and laughing and giggling and having a gay old time, I would be like, Kyle, you are dead to me. Like, we're done. What a what a fuck you to Sierra.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

Yeah, absolutely. I know you're blurred. It's like you're missing you're in like a witness protection or something. It's like I was a witness protection. Yeah, no, I agree. I agree. It's like how again we are all just forsaking the black woman to all circle the wagons again around the poor white girl who I don't know any better because she's a victim always. It's disgusting. Like, how do you deny that's what's happening? And if this is what's happening, I don't want fucking Kyle on Summer House either. How about that? Take him off too. No, no, no. Like this this would have been so easy.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

This would have been and like Kyle just put out a people, I don't know, interview or some shit about being like, oh, you know, she still got stuff in my house, she's got to get this stuff out. Like, and people were like, all right, Kyle, like let's let's see it. Like you've been handing her with like kitten gloves. So let's finally see some of that, and then to just turn around and be out with her and be like, we're all cool, it's fine, it's Amanda I'm worried about here. Get the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

Because I think this is what drew him to her to begin with. He's a big personality, he needs a quiet little victim to take care of. Come here, you meek little mouse. Let me bring you out with me and show you fun. And that's exactly what West is too. It's like, oh, come here. I need to teach you, I need to show you the streets. I need to teach you how to be how to have fun, but you poor little baby doll. Like they are infantilizing her and treating her like she's a child. Meanwhile, she's a grown-ass woman, and she is a full-blown narcissist. She has no respect for anybody else. Like, she's a pygmy girl. All she wants is for men to approve of her. It's disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 8:36

Yeah. I want no part of it. Not if any of this is on Summer House, I'm out. I'm not doing this. I think they would be smart enough to not, and I think what they're doing is trying to move this to in the city. But like also, you're just you're you're shooting yourself in the foot.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Like nobody's gonna watch. Right. And it probably is because they nobody's watching it and they want to like get viewers. So if they move this to in the city, maybe they can get people to watch. But I'm not I'm not watching it. No, the only way I want to see her on my screen is fucking flipping burgers at a uh Burger King and being screamed at by all the passengers, maybe you know, a milkshake thrown on her or something. I don't know. Yeah, something.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

And like going back to what you said of what they left out, like now that we've digested the reunion and are like, wait a minute, the time.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

Three three parts were aired. Of nothing. Nothing. Three parts of nothing. We learned nothing. We learned nothing.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

And they even had the Mia scene where she was like calling out some of the parts of the re of them filming of like moments of Amanda and Wes that were just like that was weird, that was inappropriate. Like looking back, how do you even defend that? And them just being like, Well, when you look back at anything now, you're gonna think blah blah blah. And how did they not call out the huge moments of Amanda being like, watch my ass, I walk away, and then the whole like her lying up and wanting to fuck her and then fucking in Italy. Right, right. I feel like they did film all of that, and they just cut out so much stuff to try to again save her.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

I mean, it's one thing to say, like, we can't air the parts about the video, right? Fine, yes, that's revenge porn. Right, right. Legal doesn't want to touch that, fine, get it. But like all the other stuff, that's ridiculous. It's absolutely ridiculous. We're just like weaving this story and to spend so much time on what an asshole he is and how he's gonna fuck her over in the future, that's not the point. To me, that is not the point at all. Yep. I don't care who he was dating, I don't care what he was doing. The point is what she did to Sierra, and we have two further pro pieces of evidence that we just didn't even talk about, like pretty damning pieces of evidence that show that she's not a victim. So why didn't we why didn't we talk about those?

SPEAKER_01 11:01

Because we want her to come off as a victim as much as we can.

SPEAKER_00 11:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

And I'm not doing this in 2026, Bravo. I can't no, I can't.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

We're not here for it. We are not here for it. It's not happening. Imagine it's disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

No, uh-uh, no. I don't know. I mean, every post I've seen of something, all of the comments are just like all on the same side. Everyone is in agreement of like, we are not doing this. No, I mean once in a while I'll see like the be like, I'm gonna we need everyone needs to stop bullying her, and then all the comments on that are just like shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

Nobody cares. Yeah, everybody shut up.

SPEAKER_01 11:42

Yeah, so I don't know if they're putting feelers out or what they're doing, but it's if if they're looking at the response of anything, it is very clear this is not what the audience wants to see. So it will be interesting to see if they just say, We don't care, we're doing it. And before they aired the reunion, presumably Tom Sandoval a redemption arc and think that's what we were gonna want. Like, who is making these decisions at Broadway?

SPEAKER_00 12:08

And to me, this is so much worse than the Tom Sandoval of it all. It really is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:13

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Big time. Like I just can't and again, for these pictures to come out the day that Sierra premiered as the host of like Love Island after show. Again, it's always coincidentally when something big is happening for her. Which again, if I was Sierra, I would never mess with any of those fools again.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

Like, no, Kyle, we're done here.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

We're done. You can trust Mia, KJ, Lindsay, Carl.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

I don't know about Lindsay. Lindsay's in those pictures too.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

Yeah, but they said Lindsay was not sitting anywhere near them and was not.

SPEAKER_00 12:52

I don't think I'll reserve judgment until this next episode airs. I want to see how Lindsay treats her. But I did feel like on the reunion, Lindsay really treated her like a victim too. She's like, How do you not see what he's gonna do to you? I'm worried about you. It's like, no, I know no, she is not a victim here. She was a willing participant. He did not take advantage of her and trick her into something. That's bullshit.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

I know. I'm gonna, I'm gonna give Lindsay, I'm gonna hold out for Lindsay because I feel like she can do a better job of riding the line of like, this is my job. I need to do these things and say these things, and like this is how I actually feel. But yeah, she's riding the line.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

Very upsetting. Which makes me sick. We had to come straight to the mic. We had to get this out on this Saturday after my nature walk.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

I was yesterday, and then Mallory called me this morning and started ranting, and I was like, Save it, save it for the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 13:48

Stop talking, stop talking, save it for the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 13:51

Shut the fuck up, save it for the podcast. We we're not allowed to speak out of the podcast. You know the rules. But in exciting news, Mallory is now finally on the Instagram. I'm on the grill.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

He's on the grill. I've got access. Now you can guess which posts are Jackie's and which are mine. Who knows? I can't wait. I can't wait. We finally said, fuck you, Zuckerberg. We're not waiting anymore. I just gave her access to my whole social media. I got the full, got the full canon of Jackie's, all of our finstas. All of all of our finstas. I got them all.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

She was like, I promise not to like look into it. I was like, you can look at whatever you want. It's just conspiracy theories, basically funny dog videos. You can just go for it. A few dick pics. Yep, a few dick pics here and there. But yeah, she's on it. So getting a lot more posts. I do, I know you said on the Instagram that we weren't gonna post anything about the World Cup, but I have really been enjoying all of the online videos of like Europeans discovering stuff in America. Yeah, it's yeah, the Waffle House ones, Waffle House, the Bath Pro Shop, I mean the refills at restaurants, the free coke refills. Yeah. Anything is going to put the patriotic spirit back in me if these videos are making me be like, you know what?

SPEAKER_00 15:09

Maybe we're not so bad. This is the American line. We got free refills, we got fountain drinks, and we got free refills, you know. We got Waffle House, we got democracy is crumbling beneath our feet. But we got buckies, but we got big gulpes. We got buckies. We got buckies. My god. So you know, you know, a little bit of hope to hold on to in these dying. When you're on a road trip and you need a pair of chaps, where are you going? Buckeys. You're going buckeys. Damn it, I forgot my emergency chaps. What are you gonna do now? Oh, thank god there's a bucky's god, I left my beaver underwear at home. Where will I get another pair? Oh, we can get another pair, thank you. Where can I get beaver underwear, assless chaps, and a bucket of fried chicken? And a four-foot cross buckies. Yes, exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

And a proud bean American. And a live, laugh, love poster. And a live. Yep, and some beaver nuggets. And beaver nuggets, exactly. Actual beaver and everyone's. Honestly, I do, I do fuck with Buckeys. I do miss Buckys.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

If if you've never been to a Bucky's listener, I've been to a Buckies and I've got to be a good thing. Every reason I I I sprinted out of Texas is in a Buckeys. I walk in a Bucky's and I'm like, this is this is it. This is why I get this is why I got the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

No. Buckeys. Buckeys. I hear the eagle squawking in my ear. When I walk in a bucky, I'm like, America.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

It's America. It's America.

SPEAKER_01 16:38

All right. So in these trying times of Amanda and Kyle laughing on the internet together, just remember that Europeans' minds are being blown fast rate.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

By lack of public transport and not knowing how they're going to get around Texas for some of the matters. Doesn't it? Not even a bus. Not even a bus. But some ribs. Smoke ribs. And they're happy about it. And free refills. All right. I feel better we got that off our chest. Me too. Okay. I think I can go about the rest of my Saturday evening. Bye, Jackie. Bye, Valerie. It's a kicky catch up.