Sweating And Sh*tting

TAKE US BACK TO THE GOOD TIMELINE. The ladies are in the same time zone again and hitting the mic’s for a Fourth of July catchup. Jackie is eating her way through America, pushing her GLP-1, and digestive track, to the absolute max. While Mallory is booking her way through NYC, pushing Jackie’s patience, and wallet, to the absolute max. Special guest star and cornucopia expert, Brandon, gets taken on a wild ride through the Mandela Effect that leaves more questions than answers. 

Monocle or no monocle? Leave us your best Mandela Effects in the comments!

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:03

Hey Val. Hey Jack, what are we doing? We're on the same time zone. We're on the same motherfucking time zone. Somebody asked me. Somebody asked me here what longitude and latitude Poland was on. And I was like, what the fuck are you asking me? I think it was my brother-in-law.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Shut up. Shut up, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

But I was like, what? I don't know. No, nobody knows that. But I do know we're in the same same time zone. We're in the same time zone.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

We are. Yeah. Apologies. I feel like I still sound I my cold was much better. And then the kids convinced me to go down the slide at the pool and it did breathe.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

It did something to my the old ears. It didn't flush out. It didn't flush out. Oh my gosh. Mallory looks like a beautiful cold-ridden, plague-ridden Miss Cleo. I look like Great Gardens. I look like I am I do. I got home from the pool because I don't usually get my hair wet. And so I was like, oh, I gotta get all this chlorine out. And I did a I did a hair mask because I thought we were just doing an intro and an after. I didn't know we were gonna actually chat. So this is great. You know, turn those cameras on. We're beautiful. You are so beautiful. Beautiful. We're beautiful. Speaking of gray gardens, that is my husband and my dog right now. Because my daughter and I have been in America for about a week. And he is home with my dog, both of them just flitting about our apartment, talking to each other. Oh yeah. He has sent no fewer than like 30 memes to our group chat.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

I'm like, Poor Michael. So he's so bored. He's so lonely.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

He's like, come here, Harley. Look at this meme I just sent your mom. He just sent me five pictures of Harley in the burger place getting burgers. Like Harley's sitting here nice. Harley waiting for his burger. Harley having a bite. Harley Harley had his own burger. Is that fries? He said he barely made weight on the way there. He did Harley make weight, but now he's there. So now we got to. Yeah, but he's got to come back. It's true. It's true. Knock on wood. Yeah. He said he made Harley, took all the pieces of his meal, and made Harley his own mini slider burger with a side of fries. I said, You've been on your own for too long already. Yeah, he's gonna be just losing. Although he did say he was like, you know what? Tomorrow I think I'm gonna clean out Eva's room and put some stuff in storage. I was like, that sounds he's so bored he's gonna do work around the house. He's gonna do deep organization. That's how boring he is. And I said scary. I said I support you. I don't know. I said, Jesus, take the wheel. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. I said, don't throw anything out, but just put it in the storage. Yeah. See if she brings it up. We're gonna do a three-month trial. If she doesn't bring it up, it's out of there.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

That's what I did. All the all the boxes of toys that were on our pod when we moved, they were on the pod for a month and a half. I said, fuck it, they're gone. Yep. They don't know anything about them.

SPEAKER_02 3:10

Nobody's asked a word about them. Nope. Nope. They're going to purgatory and then they're gonna be gone because we can't, we can't. We're we're out of square footage. We live in an apartment. Like, it's gotta go. I'm wearing my Americana crown, and then my job at CBS, which CBS, that place is fucking expensive. CBS that almost sent me into cardiac arrest. Oh, yeah. CBS a bitch. $300. $300 on this. How did you spend $300 at CVS? I bought more meth. I bought some meth. I bought some other pills. I don't know, some beauty products, this headband, $300 fucking dollars. American dollars. I was like, are those body?

SPEAKER_00 3:53

Yeah. This is gonna be hard when you come back. When you come back over yonder.

SPEAKER_02 3:59

Yeah, I was like, get me out of here. My mom now lives across the street from a Trader Joe's. So I'm I mean, I'm just just living my best life. Trader Joe's snacks. I'm really amazing. Absolutely thriving. What kind of snacks you got? I put one in my mouth. I pulled a U. These are my fat snacks from Trader Joe's. They're called snacky clusters. Have you ever gotten these? No, but you are I I swear to God, you you test this GLP one.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

You really do.

SPEAKER_02 4:30

You put it through the ringer. I push it to the break. Your shot is like, please just give me a week off. Let me work. But listen how good these sound. Help you. Listen how good these sound. It's pot sea salt potato chips, corn chips, and mini pretzel nuggets all bundled up covered in chocolate. Wow. That is not your like period PMS dream. Sweet, salty, savory. I mean, let's see how good these GLP ones work.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

You might be Tracy Morganing these GLP ones.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

I don't know where I am. I don't know who I am. Hard milk mellow in my mouth. You gotta take that dos on up, sister. I have since our feet have touched the ground. I think I've eaten about half a cow of beef in this last week. So you've just been sweating and shitting. Sweating and shitting. Sweating and shitting. First I I was sweating and shitting before I got on our flight because we had a five hour layover in Switzerland, and my daughter and I were like, we're going for it. Took the train, went into Zurich, and just had a full fondue lunch. And it was I just what I can't, I don't I don't. I really I didn't think you're over 40. You can't just go ape shit on cheese anymore. You know? You're not a youth. You're not a youth anymore. I'm not. I'm not. My my bowels, my digestive system is not of the youths.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

I mean, remember that time we just went out and had like two glasses of wine and a plate of cheese, and I threw up all night. You know?

unknown 6:13

You did the wrong.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

Cheese is not for four-year-olds.

SPEAKER_02 6:16

It's you know, there's an age limit to cheese. It's I paid dearly in the airport for that.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

As did everybody else in that airport.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

You know? You really you are America first, is what you are. You're like, I'm gonna get mine and I'm gonna blow this fucking bathroom to the sky. We're eight hours together, folks. Fuck my community. It's me. It's me. It's all about me. Yeah. I got a fondue shot. Yeah, and I'm good. Exactly. A fun. Oh, I thought you meant like a you replaced your Wigovie with a fondue shot.

SPEAKER_01 6:49

I mean I practically did. I pretty much did. I did. Injecting fondue right into your gut.

SPEAKER_02 6:56

Yeah, your gullet. I did not travel with my GLP ones because I was like, fuck it. So I am on the I'm on the uh fondue shot. I'm on the cheeseburger shop. I'm on stage. I'll bring you, I'll bring you an extra pen when I see you next weekend. Get your ass on track. Stab me when we get to New York. Yeah. I'm just gonna be like, you know, those in the movies where they just get you in the neck and then I like hold your body as you pass out. Just whisper in my ear. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

This is for your fat bitch. Dumb fat bitch.

SPEAKER_00 7:39

Oh my god. Amazing. I love it. I love it. I love it. It's so good.

SPEAKER_02 7:43

How was your fourth?

SPEAKER_01 7:46

Fourth was good. It was hot as shit.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

We were in the depths of the heat wave. It was 113, was the heat index.

unknown 7:55

Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_02 7:56

So we walked in the neighborhood parade that luckily was like less than a quarter of a mile and ended at the pool, and I was just like sweeping kids out of the way, sprinted to the pool, ripped all my shoes off, and just jumped in. The pool water was 89 degrees. So you're just saying you're just in like the the Hungarian bath bathhouse. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it really wasn't any better to be in the water. And the pool was crowded. We stayed for a couple hours and then went home and just tried to get the kids to rest because they we really wanted to do fireworks. So, you know, on the fourth and on New Year's is when my my uh you know white trash text that really comes out and I do ape shit on the fireworks. Yeah. We went to a fireworks stand, I blacked out, I just started pointing $136 later. My husband's like, what did you just do? I'm like, trust me, it's gonna be good. Yeah, don't worry about it. Like, you mind your own business. Just get yourself a get yourself a folding chair. Exactly. Just watch, enjoy the show. Yeah. So we set off some fireworks. The neighbors down the street did a huge display, like into the air, like totally illegal, I'm sure. Beautiful. Even better. It was awesome.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

Kids loved it. They played with sparklers, you know.

SPEAKER_02 9:12

Eliza's like, Mama, you are a fireworks expert. I'm like, damn right. That's what we do.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

That's right. My brother in high school and college, he would work at a fireworks stand for like a week before each of the major holidays, and they would pay him in fireworks.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

And then we would just go nuts. The hut. That's just other things. Oh yeah. You're gonna pay me in power, pay me in explosives. Yeah, well, it was more of a you know, Hispanic accent than that. Oh, okay. But yeah, I understood. Yeah. They're like, You want these fireworks? SA. He's like, Yes, I do. Yeah. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 9:52

Yeah, it was it was great. How was your fourth in America?

SPEAKER_02 9:56

It was good, man. We were still dazed and confused, but we just dove right in, dirty jurors, went to a parade, we bought fire trucks. My daughter got to collect candy, talk to American kids. They had like it was uh so fucking hot because of course we're in the same longitude, latitude. And and they Oh look at you who knows longitude and latitude now. That would just assume you're somebody asked you about it one time and you're like let me tell you my coordinates. Let me tell you my coordinates. They sprayed like the kids, like the ground with like the fire hoses, like they set it up on the ladder so it just rained like it rained, yeah, and that was the most refreshing. I mean, I was just full in fully care. Totally, yeah. Yeah, that's rain on me. Yeah, it was fun. It was a lot of fun. I ate a lot of beef, I ate a lot of bagels. Oh god, a good New Jersey bagel. Just put it in my vein. I mean, it's just a food tour. I again I'm pushing the GLP ones to the absolute max. Right. And I've never got they've given up, you know. They've uh DLP ones have left the chat. You're on your own, bitch. Yeah, they're like, I I did what I could. I did what I could. Guys, we are in it. We are in ju Jupiter is in is in Uranus. Retrograde. We're in we're retrograding and it blasted off into Uranus. We had a strawberry moon blast off into Uranus. They they turned off the CERN, the the thing that spins the atoms, it's off for four years. So same time we went into Mercury retrograde. So I mean Jackie tells me we can't get political on this podcast, but how do we I'm trying to steer us away. Trying to. And you're steering us back. You're probably gonna cut all this, but probably gonna cut a lot. I'm sorry. This is outrageous. This is outrageous. Here's the thing I'm excited about. So they turned off the CERN, which I'm gonna look up exactly what the CERN is. Hold on, hold on. CERN, CERN, high CERN Hydron Collider. Oh gosh. Okay. It's the world's largest and highest energy particle about this particle accelerator. It was built by the Europeans, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They're turning it off. CERN shuts down. Okay, hold on. Please hold. Please hold. World's largest and most powerful Atom Smasher has entered a planned four-year shutdown that will upgrade it to its most capable form. Last time they turned this off, I want to say was 2019. Okay. Okay. We all know what happened after that. And so this thing is off for four years. So I am hopeful that this is gonna shift us back to the timeline where there's a fruit cornucopia on the fruit of the loom logo. Where it's Baron Steen Bears and not Baron Stein Bears.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

Where how many how many psychics are you following?

SPEAKER_02 13:07

Where Shazam is a movie again with the guy who's a genie. Shaq. No, not Shaq.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

Oh no, what is this?

SPEAKER_02 13:20

2019 action comedy. Exactly. Exactly. Thank you. Shaquille O'Neal. Oh, it was Kazam. Kazam. The rapping jean, it was Kazam. Okay. It wasn't like it didn't exist.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

It was just called Kazam, not Shazam. Ah, well that's not really one of those things to me.

SPEAKER_02 13:39

What are those things called? It's called the Mandela effect. The Mandela effect. Okay, but the Fruit of the Loom one is legit, and the Barenstein Bears one really bothers me. Because it's stain, that's how it's spelled. Baronstein. But that's not how it's spelled. It's always Baronstein. Oh yeah. You say it Barrenstein, but it is Barrenstein. What the hell? No, it's not Barrenstein. It's gonna go back to the spelled Barenstein. Right, in in the crummy timeline. We're gonna go back to the real timeline where it's Baronstein. That is my hope. And then fruit of the loom. Do you remember the Goring? It's not going back to a thing. It's going to a thing that never existed, but we all in our minds thought existed. No, because it did exist. Don't let them trick you, Mallory. It did exist, and then they changed it to mess with our minds so that they can tell us that things aren't true that have happened. Fruit of the loom. Fruit of the loom logo. Do you remember a cornucopia? Of course, yes. No. They say it never existed. They say there was never a fruit of the loom cornucopia. Monopoly man wearing a monocle or not? Yes. No. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Here, this one's for Brandon. Brandon, what's the famous Mandela effect. What's the famous Darth Vader line? Nope. It's just no, I am your father. Yep. See? That's not right.

SPEAKER_04 15:18

Nelson Mandela?

SPEAKER_02 15:19

Yes. Because they said like Nelson Mandela died, but then he like didn't die for like 30 more years. Yeah. So it's like how there's do you think there's a cornucopia in the fruit of the loom logo? There ever was.

SPEAKER_04 15:32

Oh my God. I don't know. It's just I don't I I don't know. Because you'd have to define cornucopia. I mean, that's a whole that's a lo that's a very loaded.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

Define cornucopia.

SPEAKER_02 15:42

I did not think the cornucopia. The lawyer has entered the chat. We have to define cornucopia. Cornucopia is the a a cornucopia is the container.

SPEAKER_04 15:53

The container? But can you I'm used to the Thanksgiving cornucopia, which is mostly like squash and oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 15:59

It's just all get the lawyer out of here. So that's what I'm telling you. A decorative horn-shaped container overflowing with produce, flowers, or nuts. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 16:13

Oh, I guess produce. Okay, you can put produce and it would work, but I don't think there's a corner cookie on it. All right.

SPEAKER_02 16:18

Well, is there? Yeah. No, there's not, but lots of people thought. Let me see if Brandon remembers this. Brandon, do you remember there being a Sinbad genie movie that existed? Do you remember Sinbad, the com Genie movie? What did what do you think that movie was called? What do you remember that movie being called?

SPEAKER_03 16:36

Oh, I d I don't remember the name. Shaq had Shaza, right? Or something.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

Kazah.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

So Shaq had Kazam, but the rest of us remember a Sinbad Genie movie called like Shazam or something like that. But they are saying there was never. If you look up Sinbad, he is never in a genie movie. And that is untrue. I remember a Sinbad genie movie. Well, he used to wear those hammer pants. I think he used to wear genie pandemic when he did a standout. Our family was a big Sinbad standout. And then he fake died for a while, right? I think he did fake die.

SPEAKER_03 17:11

Remember like it was reported that he died? But he really didn't? Interesting. Wow. No, I did not know about that. And that like it like rejuvenated his career.

SPEAKER_02 17:21

Maybe I'll try that. The Bernstein Bears really bothers me. Do you remember the Bernstein Bears, Brandon?

unknown 17:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:30

Is it Bernstein or Bernstein? I thought it was Stein.

SPEAKER_03 17:33

Yeah, nope, it's spelled Stain. Like S-T-A-I-Y. Yeah, Stein. Is it Bern? How is it spelled? B-E-R.

SPEAKER_02 17:40

Curious George, did he have a tail or not? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

No, come on, he had a tail.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Never had a tail? He did. Well. Never had a tail. I made the mistake of buying the original Curious George books for Eliza when she was little. And let me tell you, Curious George has a very difficult origin story. Alright? The man in the yellow hat basically kidnapped him from the jungle and got him smoking. Brandon, the the Monopoly Man, monocle or no monocle?

SPEAKER_04 18:16

No monocle. Telling you many whole thing.

unknown 18:19

I know.

SPEAKER_04 18:20

Or is it Mr. Peanut? Right.

SPEAKER_02 18:21

That might be Mr. Peanut. It might be conflating Mr. Peanut and Mr. Peanut definitely has to be. Is Mr.

SPEAKER_04 18:27

Peanut just the Monopoly Man in a peanut costume?

SPEAKER_02 18:31

I feel like there was a peanut one as well. Okay, this one I always remembered. Chick fil A. I always remembered it being spelled C-H-I-C-F-I-L-A. Not with the chick. The way it's spelled now is chick, like a chick. With a C-H-I-C-K. Yeah. I feel like I remember it now having a K on it.

SPEAKER_04 18:52

Yeah, but I thought the same thing.

SPEAKER_02 18:53

Yeah. Okay. Pikachu's. Do you remember Pikachu? Do you remember his tail?

SPEAKER_01 19:04

No, I don't remember anything.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

Oh, okay. I always remembered his tail having a black tip to it. But they say it does not.

SPEAKER_04 19:12

Oh. Does it have any tip? Nope.

SPEAKER_02 19:14

Just the tip. Just all yellow.

SPEAKER_04 19:16

It's just the tip.

SPEAKER_02 19:18

It's just the tipless. No tip at all.

SPEAKER_03 19:23

This is like European roll. No tip.

SPEAKER_02 19:26

Alright, those were those were some of my Oh no, this is a good one. This is the last one. Okay. Fruit loops. How do you spell fruit loops? Oh serious. Fruit. F-R-O-O-T.

SPEAKER_04 19:40

I honestly have no idea.

SPEAKER_02 19:42

Alright, well, I always remembered it fruit as F-R-U-I-T.

SPEAKER_04 19:46

What it's O-O-T?

SPEAKER_02 19:47

It's a it's fruit loops. I guess. Yeah, I remember that one. Mallory's a secret government spy, so it's fine. I'm just talking to the enemy. Talking to the enemy. Tell all your psychics to suck it. Tell all the psychics to suck it. So I'm hoping that the CERN getting turned off is gonna shift some of these back. The main ones I really want back are Barenstein bears. Mm-mm. Yeah. And the uh fruit of the loom bears. I want the cornucopia back. Those are my top two. Yeah. Yeah. Once we define what cornucopia is. Brandon's gonna be a good one though. Oh, we forgot to update everybody on our latest travel plans. So we got how have we forgotten? We did, we we did narrowly escape the brothel, right? But then Jackie booked us somewhere else. So that was not a brothel in New York. My boss, well, okay, that's a low bar. My boss lives in New York City, and I'm like, is this a good location? She's like, it's the worst. It's in between the train station and the book. She's like, it's gonna be so loud, it's gonna be crowded, the reviews are terrible. So I was like, Jackie, I can't stay here. She's like, what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_01 21:04

I'm like, I'm not doing it. I'm sorry. I I can't. So I found us another place and booked it. And I could, well, before I found it and booked it, I called the place that Jackie booked and I said, I am Jacqueline.

SPEAKER_02 21:15

Please cancel. You stole my identity. You stole my identity. You stole your identity. Right. Canceled. And then I dent you, I canceled. And he said, You canceled what? I was like, canceled our hotel. Did you panic? Oh, I have to read. I'm gonna read it. We are toothless, not homeless. Homeless, not toothless. Toothless, not homeless. She says, blah blah blah blah blah blah. She sends me this whole thing about the what her boss said in the area and this and that. And I just send her the like Jim Carrey and Dumb and Dumb are like la la la la la, I can't hear you. I was like, girl, it's non refundable, which when I booked it, it told me it was non refundable, but I guess that wasn't the truth. Well, hold on. We need to back up for a second because I feel like we forgot the most important part of the story, right? Which is that before we talk about going to New York, I say, Jackie, whatever you do, do not come anywhere near the World Cup. Make sure it's totally over. Not just in New York, but like that it's not happening at all, right? Like it's done. Got you. Yeah, definitely. That's a great idea.

SPEAKER_01 22:19

What does she do? She picks the weekend of the World Cup final, that is in New York. Okay?

SPEAKER_02 22:27

Unbeknownst. We can't figure out why all the prices are like triple at all of the hotels in all of New York. So I had originally wanted to stay in Midtown because I thought the girls would like it and all this stuff, but now I'm like, okay, well, it's World Cup. We can't stay in Midtown. That's going to be like insane. Why? It's New York. It can fit the people. It's not the entire world. It's the just the two teams in the New Jersey teams. The game's in New Jersey. It's not even in New York. See, listener, you see what I'm dealing with here? All right. So she's not only ignores my advice to not come at all during the World Cup.

SPEAKER_01 23:05

She picks the biggest weekend in the city where the World Cup is.

SPEAKER_02 23:10

Okay. Literally. Unbeknownst to me. I did not know. You did not Google this. I did not Google it. You did not Google. I didn't Google it. All it takes is a simple Google search. I didn't Google it. We only had one there. We would have avoided all this mess. We had one weekend that worked for the three of us. Said, okay, book it, Dano. Let's do it. And then we were like, huh, why is this so expensive? We even said it in the last podcast, like, we cannot understand why this weekend, this one weekend in July was so expensive, didn't make any sense. And then Mallory text one time the US is hosting the World Cup. Texted me in the dead of night and is like, you stupid bitch. It's the night of the World Cup final. And I was like, whoops. Whoopsie. Jacqueline Bassette. What have you done? Sweet Jesus, what have you done? I said, I didn't know. I didn't know. But I'm excited. I I'm excited to be there for the the World Series, the whatever the fuck it's called. The World Series of Soccer. Series finale. The world series. The American song. It's going to be a blast. I can't wait. It's Mom Donnie's New York, baby. It's going to be, it's going to be good. It's going to be easy. That's your babe. We'll get into one of the those little uh vans driving around cooling people off, you know. Yeah. It's gonna be so fun. So Mallory's in full panic because it's the World Cup final. And I'm like, it's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine. In the busiest part of New York. We're staying in the city. Every area is busy next to the train station. No, it isn't. It is not. The village is not busy the way that Midtown is. Come on, you live there. Don't act like you don't know this. So first I'm calming Mallory down about this. And then I get the panic text. It's like, my I talked to my boss, we can't stay there. I'm I'm canceling everything. And I was like, what are you doing? It is fine. And she was like, I'm gonna call. I'm like, call who? The hotel is fine. And she's sending me this hotel. I'm like, we cannot afford the hotel that you're sending me. And I'm like, just let it be. And she was like, there are a lot of options that we can afford. I was like, where? We looked everywhere. She was like, Outside actually, I will pay one nickel to stay in New York on World Cup weekend. And that's my final offer. I will pay prices, prices, right rules, one dollar. Right. Right. And that is it. I will not go over. And then she's like, I canceled it. Don't kill me. And then an immediate voice call from me. She called me. She's like, What the hell are you doing? Why are you canceling it? We're never going to find another hotel. She was like, I'm going to find out. I was talking to my boss as I'm doing all this. I'm like, oh, she's so mad at me. And she was like, Well, she had her chance to book something. She looked twice wrong. I was like, you know what? That's a great point. Thank you. I think you said that too. You had your chance and you blew it. No, it's two chances. You had two chances. You blew it. I said, I will not pay a penny over what we were paying before. No. Which I think those words. But yeah, it's fine. Yeah. And then you're like, I got them. I got two hotel rooms. They're connecting. It's perfect. And then later on, she's like, the hotel rooms are actually not connecting. They're not connecting. That's exactly what we did. It's fine. Fine. We're gonna figure it out. It's fine. It's fine. I just had like 10 beds in a room. It's not Rikers Island, like the first option. The second option was fine. We had our room. It was not our cute little room with the bus bed. It's fine. Connected. It would have been marvelous. It was not fine. It would have been marvelous. It's not fine. So, you know, Goldilocks in the three hotel rooms. So this is it. Number three. This is just right. This is just right. The first one. You know what? It's a normal one that we've heard of. It's not the Bebo Boo, which was the first one, or the P Papoo, the second one. This one is just a normal, you know, I think it's a holiday in or something. Sheraton, something like that. Oh you know, something we've heard of. The first one was too illegal. The second one was too white trash. The third one, just right. It's just right. It's just right. So Princess Mallory is happy and I love New York. I love it. Staying in New York. I I just I always picture bed bugs crawling all over my body. Like I just, it's all look under the mattress so much before you lay in it. I used to, for work, I used to stay a lot at one of those, I forget what it's called, but it's supposed to be like a club, so it's all like really dimly lit, and you can never like there's get lights on anything. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For the name of it. You know what I'm talking about. Like the W hotel anything. It's something like that. Yeah. It's a version of the W, but you can never get the lights all the way out. No, no, they don't want to. Yeah. Yeah. You're doing your makeup in the dark, basically, because they're like, you don't need to see what's in here. You don't need to, you know.

unknown 28:06

Shh.

SPEAKER_02 28:07

Yeah. You don't need to see. Yeah, exactly. This isn't your business. No, no, it's not your business. All right, Mallory. Well, I can't wait to see you next week with the girls. It's gonna be the best. Doing all the things the American Girl Experience, MS, MMs, Times Square. I'm gonna force you to go to the Krispy Kreme and get one hot off the line, and then you're gonna have to tell me. Oh my god. You gotta get one hot.

SPEAKER_01 28:34

It's happening.

SPEAKER_02 28:35

I'm gonna get you a donkey donut cold and stale. Just how God said it.

SPEAKER_01 28:39

Right, exactly. And I'll be like, what is this trash? I'm gonna stab you. Me and Catherine are just gonna show up with like two shots each and just jam you up.

SPEAKER_02 28:51

You know, we're just gonna all the jam-ye ones you've been missing. I have been rolling around an ivy bag of Dunkin' iced coffee just direct to the main line. Yeah, direct to the veins. So that feels good. I feel alive. That feels really good. Yeah. So you're just cheese and meat is all that's happening in there, right? Cheese and meat and iced coffee.

SPEAKER_01 29:10

That's it. Cool. That sounds like a healthy, yeah. You're like, what is the recipe for gut health?

SPEAKER_02 29:15

Mm-hmm. Beef, cheese, and iced coffee. And these are little better. Chocolate potato chips. And snacky clusters. Trader Joe's clusters. My little snacky clusters.

SPEAKER_01 29:28

God, I love Trader Joe's, man. If they delivered, they would be unstoppable. They would be unstoppable.

SPEAKER_02 29:35

Trader Joe's is top tier.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

The only thing that's like the reason I don't get it more is just because like I'm not, I don't want to go fuck with it all. You know? No. If they delivered honey done. It would be they would take over the world. There'd be no other grocery stores.

SPEAKER_02 29:51

Amazing. Well, uh hoping this episode's gonna get out today. Again, sorry, summer break, you know. We're doing what we can. I mean, listen to me, look at me, you know, coming to you live. We're doing it on very gardens. But you know, we're we're gonna get through the summer. We're in the summer, we're gonna eat our summer. We're gonna eat all of it. We're gonna eat it all. We're gonna eat it all, and we are going to record next week, hopefully, with my sister-in-law, who is weekend, next weekend with Catherine. And with Katherine. Yeah, maybe our daughters, who knows, you know? Maybe, yeah. She lives in Newport, aesthetician to the stars, and she has a lot of Bravo Rhode Island. Oh my god, I can't. I have so many questions. I have so many questions. So many. I cannot wait. So that'll be a special app. And then we're gonna have Calvin Friend of the Pots. So we got stuff coming. We got a lot of big things.

SPEAKER_01 30:46

And we still have KDP. She's ready. She's locked and loaded. She's locked and loaded. She's got questions for her. So it's gonna be. Starting with the star patches.

SPEAKER_02 30:55

Starting with the star patches. We really need to bring her to the red table and make her answer for all we need to get to the bottom of that. We need to get to the bottom of that. Absolutely. Alright, follow us on the socials. See all of Mallory's work on a Kiki catch up, our Instagram page. She's really killing it. Really getting into the context. Hopefully, Jackie doesn't take any any make any reels of this chat here, but you know, you never know.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

We might end up seeing this little of a blackmail situation, but that's all right. All right. Bye. Bye. It's a kitty catch-up.

unknown 31:35

It's a kitty catch up.