NEW YORK MEETUP: Children Of The Rail

START SPREADING THE NEWWWWS. We have taken the group chat out of the group chat and are back together in NYC, this time with friend of the show, Kathryn! On this episode, we introduce our daughters to the underground world, Time Square street performers, M&M slot machines and the end of our patience & sanity. Since not one of us checked the weather ahead of time, we trek through these mean streets wet from head to toe, all while avoiding diarrhea lettuce, subway rats and World Cup crowds.

So grab your bodega wine, and come hide in our hotel room and we recap our whirlwind New York weekend!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Hey Mallory. Hey Jackie. We're in New York, New York, everybody.

SPEAKER_03 0:21

We're in the the great city of New York. We're in the big city of New York, say? And we're here with beautiful friend of the show, Catherine. Always a pleasure. We did it, Joe. We did it. We did it. We didn't know for sure until yesterday morning that this trip wasn't gonna happen. That's how we like it. That's how we like it. Hotels and trains are paid for. But still, you know, you never know. It's that era mystery. You never never know. Really, really. You got diarrhea lettuce. You got black air. You know, you got ash raining from the sky. You never know. You never never know. But we made it. We're here. We did it. We're here, everybody. And we're family. We've been here 24 hours. We've experienced all four seasons. Our daughter's personalities. Our daughters' personalities. The weather. Our patience. Meltdown after meltdown. Across the board. We've gone to the most overstimulating places in New York City. All of them. Immediately. Immediately. Until 10 o'clock. Until we dove right in. Yep. We're going hard in the paint. Right now we're we are hiding in our hotel room. That's right. We connected our daughters directly to the Matrix on their iPads. Yep. And we sailed right in and said, you know what? We got stuff to do girls. We paid a pretty penny for these hotel rooms, so we might as well enjoy them. Right. Right. We did. The views are spectacular. I mean, the views are the our viewing. The views are, I mean, I show what you get when you travel with me.

unknown 1:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:51

What you get when you travel with Jackie is prostitution. What? I mean, not for nothing. I did flash my military ID at check-in. So I mean, I did be able to make four city views. We can be for sure. We can. I'm gonna fill up my drink and little splashy splash. Yeah. There we go. There we go. Oh, oh, oh, get it. Get those bubbles. Get those bubbles. Yeah. Cheers later. Cheers. We made it. Cheers. We made it. We took the group chat out of the group chat. We got the group chat out of the group. We got out of the WhatsApp into the big city. Into the big asshole. We've also just housed 15 pieces of Artichoke pizza. Yeah, we're on borrowed time here until somebody runs out with pizza shits. There was some spinach on that, so we don't know. We don't know. We don't know. It was cooked. It was cooked. That's true. That is true. But you never you never know. You never know. Sourcing their spinach the bell. Unless they made a run for the border for that spinach. We're living on the edge. Yeah. We got two bathrooms. We figure we'll just go in the kids' room and I'll blow up that is and then tell them. Blow it up. Deuces. Yeah. They don't even notice. Yeah. So we got in yesterday. Jackie and Eva arrived first from Connecticut. From Connecticut. We tracked everyone the whole way here. My daughter learned what FOMO is because she was like, wait, they're traveling together. They're already starting their time together. They're having the best time without me. And I was like, this is what we call FOMO. FOMO. Yeah. It's called FMO. It's called FMO. As the French call it, FMO. So we had some life lessons on the train here. Yeah. And then we tracked them all the way in a cab around the corner and we waited for them on the corner and then ran dramatically, chasing their cabs, sprinting for just the sweetest little reunion. On the streets. To be fair, I don't know who cried harder. Me seeing Jackie or Jackie watching the video of her daughter reuniting with our daughters. Me crying at Eva, Catherine crying at me, all of us crying at each other. You know, I'm on a lot of SSRIs, so I don't cry anymore. Inside. Inside. Inside, I was feeling it. You guys had Milan. So you had your warm-up. So we did. You had your warm-up. We did have a great warm-up. You maybe cried. I wasn't there. You don't have to. You got a little misty. Yeah, I get a little misty. That's the best I can do. You know? It's work overtime to work out some tears on these crap. You're like a Windex bottle. You just the mist setting. That's all I'm not going full street. Going full street. It's certainly not that like hard. Absolutely not. Those days are long gone. Nope. Those days are behind you. If you want tears, that's me off my SSRIs, and I don't think anybody is asking. That's everyone crying. That's everybody. My husband's like, Steer God know. Please stop.

SPEAKER_02 4:51

Don't even mention that.

SPEAKER_03 4:54

But yeah, we got here and we we had a six o'clock res. We got girls, type A here. We want to move. First, before we move, you said no flip-flops, tennis shoes. Yeah. That's the number one rule with New York. Yeah, it is. Especially when you're going to the belly of the beast type square. Jackie has lived here, and so she navigated the subway for us. And so we did go to the underground one. We went to the death round. It did. You know, Eliza got to see a squished dead wrapped on the tracks, which was like so amazing. She's been asking ever since to go back to that specific track so she can show the other two girls. Better analyze the anatomy. Yeah, we gotta really get in there. Maybe I might be jumping down into the tracks to grab a carcass before we leave. We don't know. She also requested that we let that train go by and get right next train so we all could shoot this place. We very earnestly said, let's wait for the next one because this train currently is covering the dead rat, and I would like to show the girls. We said, you know what? We're gonna speak of FOMO, both girls have since tried to spot dead rats and made them up. But you know what? You're not gonna see it. Mom Donnie's New York. Haven't seen a live one. Haven't seen a live one. I have never been to New York for 24 hours and not seen a live rat. This is insane. It's it truly is crazy. I I mean one of the things I love is the rats in the subway. I haven't seen them one. Disgusting. I love to see you.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

It's like a zoo. They're far away. They can't get up the thing.

SPEAKER_03 6:24

They're in the track. It's just like when you're chasing the pitches. I mean, Jesus. You are like that lady in Home Alone 2 lost in New York.

SPEAKER_02 6:34

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 6:35

The birds talk.

SPEAKER_02 6:39

Yeah, that's exactly you.

SPEAKER_03 6:41

Yes. But I haven't seen a one. Very disappointed. I'm gonna write a letter. Dear Mayor. But you know, this these streets is clean. Yeah, it's even the cleanest I've seen in New York. Yeah, very clean. It is popping. I don't know. There's a little thing called uh FIFA. Oh, there's a little thing called the World Cup happening. And uh, it's pretty bad. Elijah said, and I quote, I wish the World Cup wasn't a thing. Because, you know, people are really obsessed with it, and it means we couldn't get to Rockefeller Center. I'm like, girl, low-key, I hear you. I hear you. Do not go out because there's lots of people in around here for that specific reason. However, yeah, our hotel is full of soccer, the thiefs. Yeah, the thiefs. The thiefs are here. I just I just took an elevator ride getting pizza, and it was full of just lagoon creature Spanish and Argentinian men. I mean, just disgusting. Really, really not handsome at all. Not dreamy. Not husbands have tuned out. They've tuned out. They were fucking hot.

SPEAKER_01 7:44

They were hot. They were aight.

SPEAKER_03 7:47

They were aye. They aye. All in their jerseys. And I was like, good luck to everyone. I hope everyone has fun. Everybody has to be able to do that. Everybody has fun, but that's what it's about. That's what this is about. Yeah, luckily the two in the finals are not really countries where you like get murdered if you go home empty-handed. True. I don't think so. I don't know. Maybe. Or just two or though. I can't say that for certain. Yeah. I think it's probably okay. But no one really here has like an England. No one cares anymore. England and France. It's the Spaniards or the Spaniards are here. The South Americans. They're here. And you know what they do? They sit at breakfast. We try to get a table. They're just gabbing, sipping on their coffee. European breakfast tomb is a lot different than Americans. We're like, I'm gonna sit down. I'm gonna inhale this bacon. Yes. I'm gonna inhale these pancakes. We gotta go. We got people waiting. And then we're gonna we're getting moving. And no. The Euros are like, you know, let's have a sit. Let's have a chat. Let's have a chat. Just have another cup of coffee. First of four courses. Yeah. We're gonna have all the courses. We're gonna do it. We did the the hovering. I did the hovering. I was hovering a few tables. No one was budging. And then these New Yorkers, New Yorkers, nice, these nice 60-year-old New Yorkers, as I was staring at a table that had like two bananas and an uneaten salad, and she was like, Those bananas have been sitting here for an hour. And now I was like, that's all I needed to hear. Buss it. Let's go. This one's ours. She was like, I haven't seen anyone sitting there for 45 minutes. I was like, great, thank you so much. Yeah. That's all I needed. That's what we got. Over an hour. Yeah, but so we didn't stay at the brothel, and we didn't stay at the Doxy Hotel. Very educational, but not necessarily what we need. We could have, I mean, the girls feel like they've learned some stuff though. Yeah. Oh, they've been on these streets. They've seen these streets. They've seen these streets. They've seen the underground world. Yeah, they saw some uh several performances in the subway. And Liza's like, why is it so loud? I'm like good acoustics. Good acoustics down here. They tried to put on a little performance. Yes. They did. They did a great uh, you know. Gotta be gonna be golden. We've learned who's gonna make it. Yeah, it it's not Liza. Being honest, Eliza. And it's we know who it is. You know, we don't need to say. I don't want to brag or anything, you know. She really led the trio. She really led it. No fear, yeah, no embarrassment. No, just honestly, shame at her counterparts for not she was like Mira and Zoe. Where you at girls. Yeah. Where you at? The other two were like, let's go play kitties.

unknown 10:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:23

They were looking for squished rats. They were FOMO. FOMO FOMO.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

They had FOMO about that squished rat. Yeah, they had to catch up. I know.

SPEAKER_03 10:30

It's tough stuff. Yeah, so we get in. We we went straight to Times Square for our reservation at serendipity. Sprinting there, I was really stressed. Type A. Really, I was really stressed. We get there. It's fine. 80 to 70% of the tables were empty, I would say.

unknown 10:48

So we're gonna be fine.

SPEAKER_03 10:50

Right. Girls are there's they are as if they just each shared a line in the back of the room. Oh, they're so high on line. When they first, you know, meet drugs, and we know what we know what each of them is gonna be like. You know, we've seen it firsthand. Face it down. We haven't even had any sugar at this point. I mean, this is just straight vibes. Just vibes. And you know, looking around, because I'm starting to think these chairs must be hazardous because we were in cute little like cafe chairs and a round table. Right. No boots, nothing, nothing nailed to the ground. Right. And then I'll stay number one. Yeah. By the, you know, 20 minutes in, all three of them have taken a huge tumble. Real big falls. All three chins have hit the table. Chairs skittering into the back. I often tell Eliza both cheeks on the seat, and she thought it would be funny to try to joke. Oh, you mean my face cheeks, and then put face cheeks on the seat at a New York restaurant. Which did raise the first white flag Mallory had of germophobia. Yeah. I didn't realize Mallory was so germophobic. It's New York setting! I'm not a germophobe until I get here, man. I'm telling you. I'm like, I just assume they're unhomed people's fees on every setting. It is not very progressive, but I'm so learning. That is my maggot take. And I I will not apologize. You might not apologize. I mean, might be everyone has many a time. Yeah. And I was. You're lucky you survived. Everyone has has one of those takes. You know, I just I can't. It's turn up to 10. You're turned. I'm turned. You're not going to be able to do that. I'm like, Eliza, don't touch your goddamn thing. Like, if you touch that escalator thing, we're going to the hospital. We're going straight to the hospital. We're going down the stairs into the stuff. You're like, Eliza, don't touch the railing. Eliza don't touch the railing. Yeah. And I was like, Eliza, I heard if you lick it, it tastes like oh no, we were at MM store. I was like, I heard if you lick it, it tastes like chocolate. And Mallory was like, oh, fuck it, kill you. Yeah. Jackie's real funny with all the chokes. That jokes for days up in here. Meanwhile, you know, our are I'm just out here trying to keep them all from touching stuff. Yeah. You know? I did enjoy one part. They gave them like the kids' menu with the crayons. They colored for about 0.7 seconds. And then at some point, we gotten one round of drinks. I look over, they all have either knives or forks and they're either stabbing their napkins or slicing their napkins or shaving it. Shaving their napkins. I think Eliza was the pioneer in the shaving of the napkin. She was making fabric. So we ended up having to confiscate all of the knives, forks, napkins, and water, because I think at one point they were just pouring water between cups. Yeah. They weren't drinking. Well, they were just maybe that's why they all fell because they had nothing else to do. Because we took a talk to each other. And then at that point, Mallory and I looked at each other and we looked at the waiter. We were like, we'll take two shots. We'll take two shots. We did a kamikaze each. Yeah, we needed that. Ooh, a kamikaze. I thought it was gonna be lemon drop. It was nice. It was gonna be decided on a kamikaze. Can't go wrong. I mean, you know, when you're on the GLP once, you're already a little nauseous and just like as a resting state. And if you want to put straight vodka on that, it's not what you want. Bad combo. Yeah, particularly after Jackie's dinner, which could tell us what you ate for dinner, Jackie. So we're looking at the menu. If you've never been to Serendipity, I mean it's it's you know, it's burgers, it's hot dogs, it's fries, it's what we really wanted. Hold on, can we get a couple plus? We're back. Sorry, we have a little uh we got a system where we got a FaceTime into their room, kids' room, and all of a sudden we looked over and they were all three missing. So just making sure they hadn't been, you know, taken. They're right next door, but yeah, yeah, yeah. They were just out of eyeshot. Just out of eyeshot. So we're back. I mean, the real alarming thing is that on the 33rd floor, these windows do open. Yeah. I would think they'd remove rehability. I mean, there's a lot of thing. I think it only opens like out an inch. I hope so. The second I saw that, I said, Josie, stop touching the window. We're doing a spare experiment. Oh! That's a good amount. Uh-huh. That's an arm. I mean, you can't get yourself out that. You definitely drop some toys. You could drop shit though. You could take somebody out down below. Definitely take somebody out. That seems hazardous. That seems hazardous. I don't really understand the point of that, but you know, what have's? Oh my god. All right, so let's get back into your to shaming me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For chicken from enjoying my uh holiday here. I mean, this was a this was an intervention of sorts. So they have this own menu. What Catherine and I really wanted was one of their salads, but you know, we can't in our Lord and Savior of the year 2026. You can't have lettuce anymore. No. So lettuce, not just used for your breasts, also used to eat. What? Do you never put cabbage in your boobs? Oh, you guys didn't or sell it. Yeah, I did. I know it's a random. I was gonna say lettuce. What else you could use lettuce for besides eating it? Is cabbage lettuce? Of course. I feel like cabbage is something else. All right. We agree to disagree. I'll just skip it cut out anyway. So we can have salads. And I was like, all right, fuck it. Even though Catherine ordered a salmon, whatever. Oh, but how good does a Caesar salad? I know just like freshly shaved parmesan. Yes, with some fries. We were hot as balls. Like, I just wanted a cold, crisp salad. Really, and then diarrhea. So we couldn't risk it all in one hotel room. You can't risk cycle florio, whatever. It's called diphtheria or whatever the fuck. Yeah. Oregon Trail. Yeah. Vegan chicken tacos strike me out with literally no pico, no lettuce, no onions, no nothing. And it was sad. It was a shame moment on the side. It looked like fish sticks. It did. It looked like fish sticks. Square. They were square. They were square. They were very clearly square. And the waiter was like, usually it looks better. Like usually put all this stuff out to hide the vegan taco part, but you just like it. Yeah. So it is. I mean, again, I'm not, you know, I made vegan chicken, but I'm not shitting. Yeah. So I didn't want to risk having diarrhea. So I ordered the uh fried. So in order to avoid that, I ordered the fried chicken sundae, which was cheese fries with chicken fingers, buffalo sauce, mashed potatoes, and peas layered. Yeah, because we can't afford diarrhea. I couldn't afford to risk the diarrhea. And I said, you know what, I'm gonna play it safe. I'm gonna play it safe. I'm gonna play it safe. Yep. I'm just gonna go with this spicy cheese sauce with fries in it. And then fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and potatoes, and gravy on the mashed potatoes. Oh, and gravy on the mashed potatoes and the pizza. Yeah. Let me tell you that shit was good. It was good. It was good. Don't let these two haters fool you. These little mitts were all up in Sunday. That is something New York has proven to do exceptionally well is the fries. Oh yeah. They got it, they're good at a fry. Yep. Yeah. It was good. Woo! It was good. We got our frozen hot Sundays, and we got the fuck out of there. And we got the fuck out of there. And the girls were starting to go nuts. So we leave and we're like, girls, we're in Times Square. It's like 7:30, 8 o'clock. Everything's still open. We're about to shop our fucking tits off. And the girls are like, oh my god, can we go? They're passing by all the stores on the restaurant. Can we go Disney store?

SPEAKER_01 18:36

Can we go the boob store? And Catherine's like, girls, this is vacation. We can go wherever we want. We can do an oyster. We'll do it all. We'll do it all, ladies. The girls are like, yay, mama, yay!

SPEAKER_03 18:49

We get out of serendipity. We're feeling a different way.

unknown 18:53

We're feeling a different way.

SPEAKER_03 18:56

And after our shots, we were like, you know, so many tumbles have been taken. A lot of tumbles. My daughter was doing it the Macarena. Uh-huh. Pretty aggressively. Right in front of the kitchen door. So every server that came out was at risk of catastrophe. Of a Macarena related injury.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

Can you just Macarena over here? Macarena over here.

SPEAKER_03 19:18

You're Macarena too close to the sun. You know? So first store we go to is MM Factory. Mm store. Directly. We wedged their three floors. Oh, they really get you there. We get you like that discount was 70%. We sure did. Yeah. We sure did. And you know what? You know what they don't tell you? It's that the MMs are $27 a pound. They tell you on a teeny little sign. A teeny sign where all the colors are and you pour your own and you get a baggy. And let me tell you, like you pull the trigger. It is like you're in fucking Vegas going to slots. They come. You're just like, bam, and they come shooting out. Yeah. Reward system. Yeah. Very clear reward system. It was too much. It was too much. $50 bags worth of MMs, basically. We spent $100 on MMs. That you we could have gone to the store and bought a couple big bags, separated them by color, and it would have been $10. It didn't feel good. It did feel good. It did not feel good. I'll be honest with you. It felt pretty bad. And then that really changed our tune once we left there. And it was like, mummies, what store are we going to go to next? And we were like, none of them. None of them. Shopping is blewer loads on MMs, on plain fucking Ms. We're not getting because they had a lilac color instead of the normal. We're not getting shit kits. Yeah. Yeah. Then it was a lot of looking. We're just going to look. We did a lot of looking. We did a lot of looking. Yeah, we went to the Disney store. Skip Loo. Disney was a lot of looking. I did want to go to La Boo Boo, but I'm I'm glad that we didn't. Particularly considering today's costs. Yes. Sweet. Yeah. Disney was a lot of making lists for Santa. Yeah, yeah. Love that for a short. Love that for us. Yeah. And then we walked through the streets. We saw a lot of street people. We might have seen a hooker. I forced Jackie to go into the Krispy Kreme store to watch it being made. We didn't actually eat any. No, we did take the free hats. Which the loss of a hat almost took me out mid-street. Yeah, yeah. Lost a hat as traffic was moving. Silly, silly. We almost lose the hat. That was the Liza that's mine. And then she tried to put it back on her head, and I said, no, no. It's been on the streets and we'll have to go to the hospital if you do that. Shave your head. Eliza went for shave your head if you're going to be there. You love that hair? Too bad. It's gone. It's gone. We're shaving our head. Yeah. They were like, Do you want to go around? I was like, let's just go through the center. Look at all those people there. It looks like a party. We saw some things. We saw some things. What could only be described as a pemphida? And not in like a jokey sense, in like a the very real traditional sense. He was walking her to her placement. Yeah, yeah. But polite. Polite. Excuse me. Oh, yeah. We gotta get by. They're like, sorry, we're just trying to get by. And we're like, we have we all are sweet.

SPEAKER_02 22:16

We're all just trying to get by here.

SPEAKER_03 22:17

This is this is Momdani's New York, though, so anything's possible. Anything's possible. I mean, you know what? Never felt safer. Never we were fine. We were great. Oh, you guys saw a little street show. Yes. Missed that one. Yes. Well, I die. We started to stop, and then it was what was the price? A cover charge of $20 on the street. Yeah. In the middle of Times Square. What was it? Didn't feel connected. Yeah. Was that the snakes? Nope. The snakes was something else. There was this there were also snakes and various reptiles. What? Just on the street, just on a carpet. And you could pay to pet. Yeah. I'm sorry, what? I know. I mean, it's that I told Jackie, I don't think that's that's why there's no rats in New York. The snakes. He's authorized snake dealers. Smart man, thinking outside the box. I don't think those, I don't know that those reptiles were permitted. I didn't see them. I mean, they were big. They were big. I saw the crowd and then I just heard you go, Snakes! Because Eliza loves reptiles. She would have been like, oh, we have to do it. So you know I'm like Ven mowing good God knows who for a cover charge to hold some snake that I'm not sure is safe at all. You know. So we've hit at this point. We've hit twilight hour. Oh these girls are in another dimension. These girls go to bed at eight o'clock. We're at 10 normal 10:30. Yeah. Full of sugar. Yeah, sugar. Full of overstimulation. Seen all the lights. At one point, Eliza was dead silent, and she had a very serious look on her face. And I was like kind of concerned. I was like, Are you scared? Are you okay? She's like, I'm fine. I said, Do you like need work? Do you like it okay? And she goes, I don't love it. I adore it. And I was like, City got you. City got you. She's just like, can't even speak. She's looking around like, this is fucking it. This is it. This is it. This is it, my lad. This is it. This is it. So we can make it there. I can't make it anywhere. There was a lot of Alicia Keys, uh, Empire State of Right. Everything classes. No, I didn't hate it. No, I didn't hate it. After that shot, I was like, great jungle, my friends. Yeah, we were feeling it. Oh, yeah. We got him home. We were getting them home. We went to the underground world. We saw the squish wrap. We got back. Squish wrap. We got back. Got him into the gyms. And then we louse the children. D louse. Well, you delouse. You delous. D louse. No, we're like wash your hands. Fuck it. Brush your teeth. Give me some. Go to bed. Yeah. Oh. So the then we decided we have two rooms, both with a king bed each and a pull-out couch each. But a pull-out couch for a little person. For an L. For a child. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely can't fit my full body. No, no. That was tried a touchdown. No, tried our tallest, most beautiful friends, beaver. Dangling over the edge. No. She was out. I mean, yeah. So we uh we had already decided I should sleep in there because I know my daughter. And you know, both of their girls, they're like, oh, they'll pass out immediately and they won't move. I was like, that's not mine. Lesson's for you all, but that ain't my that ain't my life. She'll be like, I'm gonna stay up. I will hold my eyes. I've watched her literally hold her eyes. And so I was like, no. So I slept on the pullout couch. She's like, they're gonna think I'm a baby. I'm like, I couldn't care less. Could not care less. I sleep on the pull-out couch, and I told these two bitches, you know, keep your phones on. I swear to God. Better. We were all like in there, and it was like the shuffle, and we're like pittering around, and then Mallory was finally like, all right, I guess I'm gonna pull out the sad couch bed. Soap bed, and then Catherine and I were just like, Alright, time to go, you girl, have a good night.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

Bye! Mallory was like, leave your phones on! They did not save me. Spoiler alert.

SPEAKER_03 26:09

We didn't. Yeah. So I made Eliza sleep on the end of the king bed closest to me. Eva, of course, had to be in the middle. Eva's a middle girl. Yeah, Eva's a middle girl. Soaking it up. Oh yeah. She's like, I'll cut your throat. Try to get all I get of you for the next year. So take it in. So I can hear them like, and they're like, Oh, we gotta go to sleep. Let's go to sleep. I'm so tired. You know, and Eliza said, I'm not tired at all. And I'm like, fucking go. This is why I need to be in here. And so Eliza's like, you know, anytime one of them moves, she'll be like, Eva, was that you? And I'm like, oh it sounds shut up. And she's like, it wasn't me. I thought Eva, I was like, I don't care. And then she I see her put her head under the covers because I know what that means. It means she's doing some bullshit, you know? So I'm like, Eliza, knock it the fuck off. And she goes, Mom, I didn't get to tell you what I'm sad. And I was like, I don't care that you're sad. You go to sleep. And then she kept her head under the covers and I was like, Oh, great. I like, you know, scarred her for life. So I'm like, are you crying? Are you really sad? And she wasn't crying at all. She was like, no, I'm fine. I'm just under the covers. And I'm like, go to sleep. Go to sleep. My favorite part about that story is the fact that until you become a parent, you don't realize how often you do these magical things for your children, and they will turn around and look at you and be like, I'm so sad. And you're like, you're in the middle of fucking Disney World. Can I tell Mama? Can I tell you why I'm sad after we bought 30 pounds of MMs and you, you know, liquidated your 401k to get me a fucking laboo-boo? Can I tell you why I'm sad? No, you may not. Take that sadness, shove it up your little six-year-old ass. This is why every mother deserves every raise. Everyone. All of it. They tried to complain about something in there, and I was like, look at the view. Look out the window. How dare you in New York City? You can see the statue of motherfucking Lily from their room. All right. I don't want to hear that is enough. Yeah. I'm like, I I never even like could imagine being in New York as a child. No. Never. Not like this.

unknown 28:27

No.

SPEAKER_03 28:28

My mother would have just accidentally left me on the subway.

unknown 28:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:31

Accidentally in quotations. Right, right. Exactly. You go live with the rats now. Yeah. You're a rat person. You're a rat child. Yeah. One of Leo's trained books. Your hair won't look that different. One of Leo's trained books is all about like different trades. And at the end, it ends with these kids like riding the train, like sleeping on a sleeper car. And it says, Good night, children of the rail. This feels like, I know it's not, but it feels like a racial sort. Like this feels inappropriate. Children of the rail. That is our children. Yeah, they're children of the rail. Yeah. It's like, good night, this kind of train. Good night.

SPEAKER_00 29:11

Good night, children of the rail. That's what they are. They're children of the rail.

SPEAKER_03 29:17

It's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. So we made it through the night. We did. And we were really worried because, you know, I think Eliza and Josie will sleep in, and Jackie was like, there's not a chance Eva sleeps past six. And I was like, if I see one eye open, I will pull her physically out of the coat and throw her in the hallway and tell her to go find her mom. Yep. But we were good. But you know what? I woke up at 7:30 and they were still, they were still kicking. And yeah, they got up at about eight. So we did all right. Yeah, we did pretty good. We did pretty good. Yeah. We planned it out. We saw some clouds out the window. We see a lot of things. Jackie said, I said, should we should we calve or should we do we want to do the subway again? She said, no, subway. I'm I'm in New York. I lived here. I know what's up. It's gonna be a little sprinkle. A sprinkle. What do we find? Yeah. Did we get a flip-flops versus sneakers? The sneaker one out. Yeah. Never have I been more grateful. Yeah, we had a couple rainbows. One umbrella. I said I got a bag. I'm gonna put this bag on here. She put a bag on her head. I was like, I'll be fine to shrink. She put the bag on. Yeah. Did anybody look to see what the World Cup was doing to a Rockefeller Center? No.

unknown 30:23

Nah.

SPEAKER_03 30:24

Did not. No. Don't need to know that. Not our business. Even though we're going to Rockefeller Center. Not our business. We get off the subway to what I can only describe as the gods opening up the skies and raining down terror and anguish. That was rain. Some rain. Rain. That was like, you're just fucked. Rain. You're nothing gonna stop it. And every time we tried to turn into Rockefeller Center, there's a blockade there where they're like, go fuck yourself. Yeah. Go around. Go around. And it is torrental downpour. Yeah. And thunder lightning, which we just kept telling our daughters was a subway. And Jackie just Jackie tried to plow past security. I did. And they said, ma'am, did you not hear us? I said, it is raining. They were like, go around. And I was like, fuck off. Yeah. So we got, we're squishing and squashing. We got feet are soaked. Soak. My little bag didn't do shit. Bag didn't do shit. Mallow had to go get me an umbrella. I had to run it by a couple extra umbrellas. But what's the one thing that makes children forget about wet shoes? The American Girl Store. The American Girl Store. The American Girl Store. Oh, we made it. We made it. Drenched. Not just wet. Not just wet. Drenched. We had tickets to adopt a pet. Yep. Which sounds amazing. And it is. It was. It was amazing. You get you pick out the pet that you want. We paid $40. Yep. Pick out the pet that you want. They brought, they groom it, which is just a gnarly kind of brush. Yeah. They brush the stuffy with. They put like a little uh ribbon on it. But there's a goodie bag. I don't know that any yeah, a goodie bag that has some book about pet care and some little bowl. Okay. I don't know if you guys clocked this, but the actual price of those pets was $22. So we paid $18 for somebody to brush it to put on a ribbon and give us a doggy bowl. Beautiful. So that's tough. Beautiful. You know, that's tough. You know what? I'm happy to support New York's economy. Yeah. Alright? Yeah. All right. And with the extra $40 spent on another dog. Yeah. On all the accessories. On all the accessories and the adults. Yeah. Yeah. That store is amazing. That's never been at that store. Amazing. Yeah. And your girls aren't that into dolls. Mine is. She has the knockoff target, my generation version of an American girl doll, which I've always, up until today, have said like it's the same thing. We don't need a hundred-something dollar doll. But then I felt the American Girl doll's hair and I said, you know what? Maybe there's something just quality. This is American made. I mean, I wanted the American Girl doll. I was a Barbie girl growing up, never wanted the American girls. Had friends who had like Samantha. Yeah, yeah. I always wanted Samantha. Yeah, but again, I think just because other people had it, I liked Barbies too. And I think it's we're similar. It's because we were never like uh maternal as children. No. Like I was not really a baby doll. Right, true. I mean, really, I don't like anybody's kids but mine, occasionally yours. Yeah, you know? No, I didn't I didn't want to take care of a doll. I wanted to dress them up in slutty outfits.

SPEAKER_01 33:32

Yeah, no fucking crazy things. Go fuck them. Go ride in a Corvette. I want to do it. Like, get it. That's what I wanted to do.

SPEAKER_03 33:44

Not gonna fucking take care of you. Well, but these American Girl dolls now. We got to the 90s section. This is Donnie's American Girl Dolls. That was exciting. The 90s section tickled this. Well, me and me and Eliza start, we take off around the store, and she's like, I want that and that and that and that and that and that and that. Because I told her we're not gonna get dolls, but we'll get outfits for your dolls because I assumed they would be the price of doll outfits.

SPEAKER_01 34:09

False.

SPEAKER_03 34:10

I have never spent $40 on a dress for Eliza, but I spent $40 on a dress for a doll today.

SPEAKER_00 34:17

It's couture.

SPEAKER_03 34:18

It's couture for marriage. Eliza also is the matching. It is adorable. I kept trying to sell Yvonne and she's like that. It could not be cuter. Oh my god, it's so cute. It's so cute. And she wanted it. Oh yeah. It was like this was our store. This is where we're gonna do our damage. We survived the monsoon outside. We did. It was worth it. We were getting something. It was worth it. Yeah. Yeah. Then we we took our little selves over to Lego, right, for another torrential downpour. Which was actually kind of timely because then the the crowds left. Everyone left the Lego at us. We jumped jumped right in there and said, nope. We've already been in our socks are already soaked. Might as well just stand here for a few more minutes. Yep. And we did. We tore through the Lego store. Your girls got Lego'd out. Yeah, Lego store is legit. Amazing. So many things that are not available locally or on Amazon. It was cool. And then the girls were like, all right, we're done.

SPEAKER_04 35:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:16

We have all these toys. We want to go back to the hotel room and play with all of our toys. Yeah. As we were standing outside getting rained on. And we couldn't get in Rockefeller Center to go see anything. No. So we were just like, fuck it. We're good. Yeah, let's do this. Let's head back. We paid a lot of money for these hotel rooms. Let's enjoy it. Let's enjoy it. We got some pizza delivered. Got some Rachel pizza, which is love to taste. And what do you know how Chelsea, what is it called? Chelsea papaya. Oh, papaya? Yeah, how did it get its name? But Chelsea Papaya, amazing fries and hot dogs. So good. I don't know, but they've been around forever. What I loved the most is I enter the store and there's a tiny postcard on the wall that says, Naomi Watts loves our turkey dog because she has to stay low fat for her career. You fat bitch, enjoy the hot dogs. Yeah, enjoy the all-beef, Chubble. When was that photo taken? 1991? I mean, Gray's Papaya was there when I was in college in 2003 to 2007. Wow. And it already been a staple. I mean, I think it's been there for like the Fence Chili Bowl of New Year's. I mean, it was amazing. The guys behind the counter knew everybody. Yeah. Cash tips still. Yeah. Love it. Legit. Love it. Very sweet. Yeah. So that's it. We're we're just chilling now. We're drinking, we're drinking. We got the drinking. We're getting our scissor font. We're scissoring each other. Do I need to leave? Yeah. No, you don't. No, no. Your Barbie and I were, you know, we presented as lesbians in Milan. That's true. And then on the way here, Catherine and I presented as beautiful. I do, you know. I love it. I do dress androgynously from dick from time to time. And Mallory fell victim to the, ooh, those are definitely two moms. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. The girls look enough alike that it's like they could be siblings. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. We just swapped eggs. Yeah. Yeah. That's how this one is. I took one, you took one. You know, found some sort of sperm. Doner. Yeah. Yeah. You would be the top. You would be the top. I don't think there's tops and bottoms of girls. You would be the left scissor. We need to go back to our anatomy class, I think, if you're concerned about the top and a bottom. I'm just saying. Hey, you never know. It's like uh sometimes with the you got a chihuahua and a bulldog, and maybe the chihuahuas running shit. You don't know. 90% sure that's how my dog was brought to being. There you go. Nice. There you go. But yeah. Or just, you know, watching the storm go by and doing our time. Enjoying our time together. I don't know what our plans are later. We'll see how these kids are. See how we do? They're both, they're all pretty, pretty fucking tired. They're tired. They're playing with their toys. They're watching TV. They're having a gale time. Yep. Being together is just the number one for them. And us. And us. And us. And us. And on that. It's been too long. Too long been together.

unknown 38:30

I know. I know.

SPEAKER_03 38:31

Oh, all right, ladies. This has been real. If uh you want to follow us in the socials, Mallory's doing a bang up job at a Kiki catch up. We'll try to post some things. How do the kids do it? Oh, yeah. Yeah, oh, the little youths. Yeah, we'll try to post stuff from our New York trip. We are not recording this because we can't get my iPad to work. So video, no here. It's for the best. We've all been through a store. Yeah. Imagine it. I've still got an inner ear problem that I'm dealing with. Make a lot of weird faces. All right, ladies. It's been a pleasure. All right. Love ya. Love ya. Bye. It's a kiki catch up.